Gunslinger
by the cowardly figment
Summary: Death Sentence. It started with a black 1969 Ford Mustang Fastback detailed in red tribal symbols and a man I wasn't supposed to take a bullet for.
1. The Violent Beginning

Disclaimer- I don't own Death Sentence.

Author's Note- I was asked to post this and I was happy to oblige! Okay just making sure everyone knows that the movie didn't happen so everyones still alive. Well actually it's set before the movie but yeah the gangs all here. Sorry couldn't resist the pun. Oh and yeah it's pretty much an OC or whatever people like to call it. I'm not good with all the jargon and stuff. But it's not like my other stories no super romantic qualities, just give it a chance. It's based around Billy if you were wondering. Okay leaving you alone now, enjoy! And let me know what you think!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter One- The Violent Beginning**

It started with a black 1964 Ford Mustang Fastback, detailed in red tribal symbols and a man I wasn't supposed to take a bullet for.

Which makes a lot of sense right? Yeah I really wasn't thinking clearly. Actually I really wasn't thinking at all. It was one of those heat of the moment kind of things where you act before it even registers in your brain what your doing. I guess you never learn your lesson till it hurts you and let me tell you it hurt like a bitch.

There had been a party on what people would call the "wrong side of the tracks" but at the time I didn't care. Any reason to get out of that hell hole of an apartment was good enough for me. Elias, my best friend, was by my side the whole time. He had a connection around there where he could pick up his needs on the way back home. It didn't even bother me. Everyone knew Elias's day wasn't complete without a good hit. Drugs were fine with me as long as they didn't effect my life in some drastic way and they hadn't. Yet.

Everything was going smoothly right up until we walked in the door. That's when the shit hit the fan. I'd heard about gangs in the newspaper and on TV but I'd never really been face to face with one or anyone associated. I should have known Elias would know a few. I should have payed more attention to today's headline, _Local Gang Wars._ How was I supposed to know Elias's connection was hosting the party.

"Eli you fucker! Nice of you to finally show up," greeted a scrawny boy wearing a blood red leather jacket.

The kid almost looked homeless. He was aiming for the bad boy "don't fuck with me" look but it was more amusing than frightening. But then he turned to me and looked me up and down. His gaze stopping and lingering on hips and thighs before he smirked and slugged Elias on the shoulder. He leaded us further into the warehouse as I instantly regretted wearing my white denim mini-skirt and wanted to slap him and everyone else who's eyes were now locked on me.

Turned out I was the only girl here who wasn't either paid or here to feed their addiction. In a way it nearly scared me to death but I knew that as long as Elias was here I'd be okay. At the least okay. I hoped.

We were soon settled on a abandoned mattress in the overly crowed room beer in hand and smoke tainted air. I was uncomfortable but really had no choice. Elias had driven and I didn't know the streets as well as he did. It really didn't seem worth the risk but what did I know.

Elias laughed as Joe, the leather jacket kid, described to him a recent encounter with a rival gang. I wasn't paying much attention but what I had picked up was that Joe wasn't an "official" member but his brother led the gang. No one in the room were members just hung out with them.

Not long after arrival a squeal of tires coming to a stop outside startled nearly everyone in the place. It was followed by loud shouts and then suddenly the door burst open. It was like an entrance scene from the movies. Slow motion and everything. A group of men guns in all their hands, cigarettes dangling from their lips, leather jackets and tribal tattoos covering their bodies. Seven men. Then he walked in.

I should have been terrified but even I couldn't deny that he was nearly a god. He glanced around with a glare that sent shivers down my spine. He reached up and took the cigarette from his lips then exhaled smoke that drifted upward in mesmerizing swirls. His leather trench coat practically marking his standing, this was Joe's brother. The leader.

"What the fuck is going on?" he asked his deep voice giving me goosebumps.

"Just chill'n man," a wasted guy beside Elias laughed.

Joe's brother glanced over at one of his companions before raising the pistol in his hand and aiming it at the man who had spoken. My jaw dropped as the man's eyes grew wide. Joe's brother just rolled his eyes and looked at Elias.

"Nice of you to finally show up."

One of the few good things about Elias is that he has the kind of personality that no one could hate.

He smiled and nodded, "What's up Billy?"

Finally I had a name. Billy took a drag on his cigarette then tossed it to the ground lowering his gun.

"Party's over," he ordered then turned to me and looked at me the same way his brother had. Only this time it didn't make me cringe instead my cheeks grew hot.

That's when the gunfire cut through the air and mass chaos erupted. Fear shot through every bone in my body and I felt a panic attack hit. Elias grabbed my hand and pulled me through the warehouse darting around stacks of boxes at full sprint. All I could do was allow him to guide me. My brain wasn't comprehending anything. He yanked me through a door and we nearly collided with Joe and Billy.

"What the fuck?" Elias panted his grip on my hand tightening.

I could feel ever inch of my body trembling as I gasped for air, Joe fidgeted with a nervous twitch and Billy didn't looked phased at all by any of this.

"Get in the car," he told Elias who nodded quickly.

The next thing I knew we were in front of a black 1964 Ford Mustang Fastback detailed in red tribal symbols and Joe was climbing into the back seat. It seemed like we were in the clear at least for the moment. Elias and Billy were saying something but I wasn't listening, just staring at the car. Joe handed Elias a backpack and pulled him into the back seat. I looked back at the building as the exit opened. There was a loud bang followed by a stream of gun shots. Scorching pain ripped through my stomach and all I could see was the blood dripping from my stomach and staining my hands.


	2. Do What They Say

Author's Note- I know this chapter took a while but I was fixing a few thing with the storyline and I kept changing little things until they satisfied me. Thanks for all the reviews and thanks to everyone who read it! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

_Important- Sorry it's short and slow but I need a little help with this. I can make this story go two ways, it can become a romance kind of thing or something completely different that has no romantic value to it at all or any other way you can think of. So if you have an opinion review or PM me and tell me what you'd like cause right now I have no idea. Thanks!_

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Two- Do What They Say**

"Cass? Cass can you hear me?" a panic filled voice broke through the hazy darkness of my mind.

An incessant beep hammering at my eardrums, my thoughts a thick fog and a heavy beaming light seeping past my eye lids. Where was I? What the fuck happened?

"Cassidy come on."

I blinked cringing at the brightness of the room.

"Hey your waking up! Cass your gonna be alright."

The blurry figure squeezed my hand and everything that had happened in the last day flashed before my eyes. The party, Joe, the car, Billy, the blood and Elias. Shit Elias.

"Elias," I gasped jerking up into sitting position instantly regretting it as my abdomen burned in agony.

Elias was beside me in one of those crappy uncomfortable chairs the hospitals puts in the rooms. He looked like he hadn't slept in days and he was drumming his fingers, legs shaking obviously from withdrawal. His dark hair was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot. He laughed a little and hit a button on the bed and raised it up so I could sit a little more comfortably. Not that it really helped much. I guess it's the thought that counts.

"You look like shit Cass."

The room was a blinding shade of white that gave you a headache if you looked at it for to long. Hospital rooms had always creeped me out and this one was getting first place. It wasn't dirty or anything just frightening.

"Can't say you look any better," I mumbled fiddling with the IV in my arm.

He sighed and looked at me shaking his head.

"The doctor said you'll be fine. It was just a flesh wound but... we are in deep shit."

What the fuck did that mean?

"Deep shit how?"

All I really wanted right now was to go home and get back to a normal life in the safety of my apartment. Elias glanced at the door then turned back to me smiling weakly.

"Billy's beyond pissed. I owe him a lot and you just got yourself stuck in the middle. What the fuck were you thinking taking a bullet for him?"

"WHAT?" I hissed. "I didn't take a fucking bullet for anyone. Your the dumb ass that put us in this situation."

"Doesn't matter. We still owe Billy whether we like it or not."

I glared at the disgusting wall. "What do we do then?"

"You do what they say. Billy's taken matters into his own hands. We aren't going home for a while so consider your last few minutes here heaven."

This couldn't be possible. What the fuck did I even do? This couldn't possibly be happening.

I took my time pulling on my jeans and tee shirt. The movement made my stomach ache but the pain wasn't what I was avoiding. Elias had in the last ten minutes taken care of all the paper work and got me discharged in no time at all. I was not looking forward to leaving. Billy didn't seem like the kind of person I wanted to get to know. Reason one he was the leader of a gang. Fuck if my family and friends back home in Iowa had any idea I had gotten involved with a gang they'd disown me. Why the hell had I let Elias convince me to move out here for college? Reason two I couldn't defend myself even if my life depended on it, which was obvious from earlier events. I'd be dead within the next day if I was lucky enough to last that long.

Elias was waiting for me in the hall and guess who was right beside him smirking like the fucking ass he was. Joe. I rolled my eyes and a nurse came up with a wheelchair.

"Oh honey let me take you out," she smiled nervously as she eyed Joe.

I nodded gratefully but it wouldn't change the fact that I was stuck in a situation no one wanted to be in.

Elias and Joe whispered and laughed the whole way down to the main entrance. No doubt cracking jokes about the nurse and maybe even me. Elias and I were like brother and sister we were that close but there are times when I didn't know why I ever even called him a friend. He was one of those people that would say nice things to you and then turn around and trash you to everyone else. I still knew though that he always had my back even if right now I was doubting his loyalty.

I was honestly surprised when we got outside that the black car was waiting for us and Billy was leaning against the hood. I should have known. The nurse and Elias helped me into the back of the car and Elias sat in the back beside me. Joe scared the nurse off and him and Billy got in. Billy speed off with a squeal of tires and my breath got caught in my throat.

"So Billy man what's the deal?" Elias asked calmly nudging me with his shoulder.

I glared at him and tried to calm myself down. I really didn't need a panic attack, at least not right now.

"Until I get my payback your staying with us," he answered with a smirk.

"Consider us roomies now," Joe laughed as he turned around an winked at me. "You can share my bed baby."

My eyes grew wide and my hands started to shake. Elias laughed along but grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Billy slapped Joe.

"She isn't spending any time with you."

Joe raised a brow and Billy.

"What keeping her all to yourself?" he visibly pouted.

Billy narrowed his eyes at the road and Joe shut up. I really started to doubt my ability to survive longer than tonight.

The car was silent for the rest of the ride until we parked in front of a trashy graffiti covered apartment building. Elias and I followed them into the building but abruptly stopped in front of the stairs. Billy turned to me and looked down at my stomach.

"Fuck," he muttered.

"Fuck what?" Elias asked as Joe laughed at him.

"She isn't gonna make it up the fucking stairs," he groaned turning and grabbing my arm roughly. "Meet me up there."

He pulled me down the hall and into an elevator. It looked like it was going to fall apart if it even got us off the ground. He pressed the button for the fourth floor and leaned against the wall as the doors shook closed. It creaked and slowly started upwards. Billy looked frustrated and angry. Not that angry was a surprise. I'd only been around him for maybe an hour total at most but it seemed like he was always angry. He caught me watching him and I quickly looked away blushing. That made him smirk.

"You aren't gonna make it long," he chuckled.

"I'm still alive aren't I?"

He just looked at me. It was terrifying but somehow incredibly sexy. He said two words. Two words that would turn my world upside down.

"For now."


	3. Lonely Day

Thank you so much for all the reviews! They helped a lot, that's why chapter three is up so quickly! Anyway I'm sorry about all the confusion I forgot to leave the warning on the last chapter. My bad. A few things might not make a lot of sense right now but that's because it'll all come together in future chapters. Oh and this chapter is pretty much just building "something" between Cass and Billy. Take that how you like I guess. Enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Three- Lonely Day**

Billy had left us alone at the apartment so he could "take care of some business" whatever that meant. The apartment looked like a war zone, the walls peeling and covered in graffiti. The furniture looked like it had come out of a dumpster and trash littered the floor. How could people even live in this filth? I guess it didn't matter though I had to live here too.

Elias forced me to lay on the couch and get some rest, "doctors orders." Screw doctors orders we needed to figure out an escape plan. Only that wasn't going to happen because Joe was sprawled out on the floor with Elias chatting away about nothing near as important as our lives. This really couldn't be happening. I'm not ready to die. Yet some how I drifted off to sleep. Probably from the pain pills the doctor had prescribed.

Next thing I knew the door slammed and I was alone in the apartment with Billy. My stomach was killing me but I ignored it best I could. Billy didn't need to think me any weaker than I already was. He shrugged off his trench coat and tossed it onto the back of a chair. Then he turned and looked at me as I winced in pain sitting up.

He just stared at me. Why did they keep looking at me like that? I wasn't horribly ugly but barely pretty and no where near beautiful. My eyes were too wide, my lips too thin, and my hair far too unruly. I was skin and bone to say the least and definitely not in shape. My chest was flat, I'd only wished for more than a simple A cup. No were near what people considered attractive. So why the hell did they keep staring at me like a piece of meat? The more I saw of Billy the more I realized he was honestly more of an animal than a man.

Finally he looked away but to my dismay sat down on the couch beside me. Did I really dare speak a word?

"What do we owe you?"

It slipped out. I really hadn't meant to say it but I had and I couldn't take it back.

He groaned and leaned his head back, "You don't get it do you?"

I was dumbfounded. Of course I didn't get it that's why I asked but he made it sound like a whole different matter.

"No," I muttered playing nervously with the unraveling end of my jeans.

"Elias is one of us."

I choked on my tongue. He couldn't be serious. Elias was a junkie yeah but never would he be in a gang. Would he?

"Your... your lying," I stuttered.

He looked at me and I almost fainted but not from fear. How he had this control over me I had no idea?

"Yeah I'm lying and I just save people's asses cause I feel like it. If Eli hadn't been there I would have left you to die."

"Oh," I choked. At least he was honest.

"You shouldn't have taken that bullet for me."

"I didn't."

Why was everyone assuming that? I'd never take a bullet for someone like him. I just didn't know what was going on.

He glared at me. Right now I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. I recoiled and looked away biting my lip sharply drawing blood. He rolled his eyes and got to his feet before heading into the kitchen. He came back a few minutes later with my pain pills and bandages but stopped and watched me instead of sitting down.

"Here I... I can do... it," I reached out to take the items from his hands but he took a step back and out of my reach.

If I moved to much more I'd rip out my stitches. That's the last thing I wanted to do. Setting the items on the coffee table he kneeled down in front of me, reached out a hand and wiped the blood from my lip with his thumb.

"Your a train wreck."

I was speechless. How was I supposed to react to that. So I just looked back at him actually looked at him. What really was there to say? Billy was intimidating no doubt but somehow handsome. The tattoos were intriguing but a warning yet still harboring a deeper meaning. Then there were his eyes. Eyes that could rip you apart with a glance. Tear you down and destroy you but at the same time they were breathtaking and almost... sad.

"Lay down," he ordered and I did as I was told.

I really had no intention of testing his temper especially when right now he was so calm. He pushed up my shirt just high enough to reveal the old bandage. Quietly he replaced it once again doctors orders. Only when he finished his fingers lingered running down my bare stomach and stopping right before my jeans.

"What's this?" he asked stroking the edge of my exposed tattoo.

"Nothing," I mumbled yanking my shirt down and pushing his hands away.

He smirked and grabbed both my wrists with one hand. My squirming only made him laugh as I tried to escape his clutches.

"Do I scare you?"

I nodded unsuccessfully trying to pry myself free.

"Good," he chuckled then got up and vanished into a room.

I quickly reached over and grabbed my pain pills and popped four into my mouth. The doctor said two was more than enough but right now I needed not only physical relief but mental as well.

"Hey... Hey Cass," someone yelled shaking my shoulders.

"Elias," I mumbled groggily.

Four pills was a bad idea.

The person chuckled. "Not exactly."

I sat upright with a jolt and whimpered out in pain.

"Smooth."

I turned and looked at Billy.

"Where's Elias?"

"Running a corner."

"Oh."

I was out of it but even if I was thinking straight I still would have had no idea what he meant.

"Your not sleeping on the couch," he snapped.

"What where am I going to sleep then?" I argued. Was I asking for a death wish?

"My bed," he smirked.

"WHAT?" I screeched. Oh please God no.

"Doctors orders."

Alright enough of that already.

I looked at him like he was crazy. He probably was.

"You don't seem like the kind of guy who follows orders."

He pulled me to my feet, ushered me into his room shutting the door with a bang and turned to me.

"Here's the deal I'll help you, you help me."

"Are you insane? How do I help you?"

"Just be a good girl and do what I say."

"Have I done anything else?"

"Cass."

"What?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

I should have listened to him.

"I don't even know you?"

"You don't want to know me," he fumed.

Good job Cass. Make the scary man angry.

He stepped forward and pushed me onto the bed. Conveniently my stomach growled. He tossed a shirt at my head and leaned against the wall.

"You can wear that for now. Eat what ever you can find."

Turning away he opened the door but stopped.

"I'm going out. You better be here when I get back."

With that he was gone and I was really all alone in the most terrifying place one could imagine. The worst part I wanted Billy to come back and stay with me. Oh God what's wrong with me?


	4. You Look Pretty Low

I know it's kind of short but enjoy anyway!**  
**

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Four- You Look Pretty Low**

You know how in horror movies there's certain things that always signal something bad is about to happen like flickering lights, heavy lightning storms, old abandoned houses and going into the basement alone. Well this was a lot like that, only instead of monsters there were "men" outside the window screaming their lungs, out pointing guns in peoples faces and beating the shit out of each other.

I had been in the so called kitchen digging through cupboards and drawers looking for something even slightly edible when the first shot went off. So what did I do? I ran into Billy's room and hid under the blankets on his bed. Like that was somehow going to protect me but I was acting on instinct. Tears spilled from my eyes as my body shook and I prayed for Elias to come save me.

Ten maybe twenty minutes went by before the door burst open.

"Cassidy..."

Who ever had come in the room sat down on the bed beside me. I tensed and closed my eyes as they pulled off the blankets. They wrapped me up in there arms and held me tightly but avoiding my throbbing stomach.

"Shh Cass they can't get you."

Opening my eyes I looked down at the arms wrapped around me. The tribal tattoos twisting around them caused me to gasp.

"Why?" I asked in between sobs.

"I promised Eli I'd protect you," he breathed in my ear.

"But why?"

"He isn't coming back."

I pushed him away or tried to. Realizing I didn't want him touching me he released me and I scramble away.

"Tell me what the fuck is going on," I screamed. I was sick of not getting answers, sick of being clueless.

He narrowed his eyes and glared at me. "You really want to know?"

"Yes." Wasn't that obvious.

He stuck his hand in his pocket and took out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. He then grabbed the lighter on the nightstand and lit up.

"Fine." He took a drag. "Elias was a good customer until he ran out of money. When he couldn't pay us he traded his life away. He started selling on the corners and instead of cash we gave him drugs. We became good friends and I let him into the gang. He made deals with rivals but he ratted on us to the cops. I needed payback. Guess what he gave me?"

I couldn't believe it. He was lying. There was no way in hell that Elias was that stupid. He'd never do something like that.

"What?"

Billy chuckled putting out his cigarette as he got to his feet and backed me into a wall.

"He gave me you. My little hostage."

"Get away from me," I whimpered pushing against his chest.

"No."

I looked up at him our faces only inches apart.

"Where's Elias? I want Elias."

He shook his head, "He's left you."

"Your a lier."

He smirked and leaned closer his lips nearly brushing mine. "Don't look so scared. I wont hurt you... much." Then he turned away.

"Get some sleep. I'll be on the couch," With that he led me back to the bed before walking out of the room.

For some reason I felt safe. Even with that raving lunatic sleeping a doorway away. I was soon able to close my eyes and let slumber wash over me.

I awoke to Elias screaming behind the room door.

"Why the fuck would you fucking do that?"

Elias barged in and ran to my side.

"Cass I'm sorry about last night I should have never left you with Billy. I didn't give you to him I swear he's a lying bastard. I'm so sor-"

I slapped a hand over his mouth. "I know."

He nodded and kissed my palm. Sleep strengthened something in me and Billy was in for a reality check. He may be top of the pyramid but I'll claw my way up if I have to.

"I'm no ones property," I stated as I rolled out of the bed and onto my unsteady feet.

"Cass don't," he warned grabbing my arm. I gave him a look he recognized instantly.

"No Cass it's not going to get you anywhere."

"I can't live like this."

"Just for a little while please. It's all to keep you safe. Just don't," he pleaded placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Keep me safe from what?"

"I pissed off the wrong person."

"Who Billy?"

"No... It's not important just please stay here."

I nodded and flung my arms around him. "I wont."

An few hours later Elias left with Joe and I was stuck on the couch with Billy. What a familiar scene. Finally though I had my chance.

"Your a fucking asshole you know that right?" I spat glaring at Billy defiantly.

He just turned his head and looked at me.

"I'm not scared anymore," I told him.

"You say that now but just wait till the gunfire starts again."

"I meant of you."

"You never were."

I stumbled over my tongue and lost my next defense. I hadn't been expecting that.

"Then... You... what?" I stuttered not able to come up with anything better.

"You took a bullet for me."

I opened my mouth to deny it but then the memory of that moment flooded back.

"I wasn't thinking... clearly."

He just sat there and watched me shake my head and search for better words.

"Come on," he finally ordered standing up and offering me a hand.

"Come where?"

He laughed, "To get lunch. Unless you wanna eat mold."

Hesitantly I took his hand.


	5. As I Am

Thank you to everyone who's been reading! I really appreciate it!

I wanted to tell/warn everyone that this story is going to end up exposing a much softer side of Billy so he might seem a bit out of character. Just so people know and if you don't want to read it anymore I understand. I'm sure that in future chapters there will be much more of the hard/tough side of Billy from the movie but in my story there is also another side of Billy that Cass unknowingly brings out. Just so you know.

Enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Five- As I Am**

Who would have thought that a month later Billy would be one of my best friends? I know it sounds sort of cliché but it's not. Billy's actually more of an ass than he was before. It's just grown on me I guess and I now know how to fight back for the most part. He makes me feel safe and for some reason doesn't mind watching my back. At least he hasn't complained about it. I've learned a lot though like how to fire a gun, keep my cool when the gangs around and when to hide.

I also learned a lot of things I probably didn't want to know about Billy. Which only made my curiosity run wild but I stopped verbally asking questions when Billy decided to stop coming home and Elias was never around long enough to get anything out of him. So I made a deal that I'd just live with it as long as I wasn't left alone all the time. He agreed but I doubted it was my doing. He did however give me a list of things I could do to "help" out. It varied but I was also in charge of making the boys dinner and I'd taken it upon myself to keep the apartment in decent shape. Well as decent as I could manage to make it.

I was throwing random noodles into a pot of boiling water when Billy burst through the front door. He slammed the door shut causing the entire wall to rattle. It made me cringe but I quickly shrugged it off. I'd never been around someone so violent before and it frightened me. Yet at the same time I found it pleasing. Weird right?

He sauntered into the kitchen and yanked open the fridge to grab a beer. I caught him glancing at me and I smiled lightly. Slowly he shut the fridge door and then stepped over to lean against the counter by the stove.

"Rough day?" I asked absently.

He nodded as he opened the beer bottle and took a swig.

"That sucks. So are all the boys coming over tonight?"

He shook his head then sighed, "No. It's just you and me."

"Why didn't you just stay out with them then? Or are they all working?"

He gave me one of his questioning looks. "Maybe I just wanted to stay here is there something wrong with that?"

I shook my head and stirred the noodles stopping them from clumping together.

"What did you do all day besides clean?" he asked eying me.

I flipped off the stove and turned to him. "Absolutely nothing. Not to complain or anything but I'm kinda bored."

He just shrugged and walked over to the couch and collapsed on top of it. I grabbed two paper plates, piled on the noodles and poured some tomato sauce on top. Then I walked over to the couch, handed Billy a plate and a fork as I slowly sat down next to him. He took a bite then looked at me.

"Your stomach still hurt?"

I smirked. "What do you think?"

He flicked a forkful of noodles at me. "I was being nice you little bitch."

"Which by the way is more frightening than you being a jackass."

He smirked back at me. "Your lucky I'm hungry or I'd smack you right now."

"Thank God," I laughed. "I'd probably have to lock myself up in a closet and never come out."

"This doesn't count?" he gestured to room around us.

"You wouldn't be allowed in my closet."

"You say that now..."

"Whatever Bill," I threw my plate at him and walked out of the room and into his bedroom that he had surrendered to me. He usually stayed at Bodie's, Heco's or on the couch so it really wasn't a loss.

I laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. For some reason the transition into this life was so much easier for me than it should have been. I'd always been searching for that one place I belonged and some how I found it right here. Even though I was still clueless I couldn't help but be happy. Trust me it makes just as much sense to me as it does to anyone else. I must be insane.

Billy didn't have me caged completely. He let me call my parents once a week but I had to pretend that everything was normal. Elias had taken care of everything else leaving me in the dark. It was almost like we had just fallen off the face of the planet. Only no one noticed or knew.

The door swung open and Billy sat down on the bed next to me.

"Wanna go for a ride?"

"Ew. No!" I laughed.

He glared at me. "Like I'd fuck you."

I sat up on my elbows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He smirked. "Your not my type."

"Yeah well it's fair then cause your not mine."

"What is your type exactly?" he asked as he lit up a cigarette.

"Um not you duh. We already covered this."

"Is that why you get hot every time I look at you."

"That's not true," I shrieked as my cheeks grew red. It was true and we both knew it.

He raised a brow then dragged me off the bed.

I flipped through radio stations as we sped down the highway.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we flew by other cars.

"You'll find out when we get there."

I stared at him for a minute trying to figure out if I should be worried or not. The radio started to play a dance pop song so I turned it up and tapped my feet and hands to the beat. I was sure Billy would change the station but to my surprise he didn't. He barely looked like he was breathing actually.

"You okay?" I asked watching him.

He tensed but nodded.

We drove in silence with the exception of the radio for almost an hour before Billy exited the highway and took a right down an abandoned road. He drove another twenty minutes down that road until he turned and parked in front of an old badly burned barn. I followed him out of the car. He popped open the trunk and dug out a few cans of beer. Then he jumped up on the hood of his car, laid back and looked up at the clear sky. I just stood there and looked at him through the darkness. Cicada's buzzed from the trees around us and wind blew the tall weeds.

"Are you just gonna stand there?" he grunted handing me a beer as he opened his.

He took sip and patted the spot next to him. Then he dug out his cigarettes and lit one up.

"I don't want to hurt the car," I replied reaching out and taking the can.

Sitting up a bit he turned and looked at me with those deep bright eyes. Luckily it was dark enough he couldn't see the blush that had become a permanent reaction to his gaze. With a small yank he pulled me up onto the hood. I looked up at the stars but found myself more entranced by Billy than the magnificent sky.

"Do you come out here a lot?" I asked pulling on the tab of the beer can until it opened.

"Yeah," he grunted.

I opened my mouth but quickly closed it not wanting to push my luck. I was after all alone with Billy more than fifty miles away from Elias my safety net. Why was I not panicking?

"I used to come out here with Joe when we were younger," he laughed bitterly. "Until my dad couldn't find us one night and said if we ever disappeared like that again he'd kill us. Now I just come alone... usually."

I muffled a gasp with my hand. I'd heard from Bodie that Bones was someone I never wanted to meet. That he was an awful man and a horrible father but I never thought Billy would be the one to talk about him.

"Elias is an idiot for choosing this life," he scowled.

"I'm sorry Billy," I mumbled.

"Shut up Cass."

We both fell silent. I took a long drink of my beer and looked upwards.

"Cass," he breathed as rolled over onto his side his body only centimeters away from mine. The distance gave me goosebumps and made my hands tremble.

"Yes?" I chocked.

He then leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against mine and I couldn't stop myself from kissing him back.


	6. My Mind Bleeds

Thank you for the reviews! I love hearing what you think so thank you very much to all who reviewed and of course to everyone else who read!

I also have some good news! After writing the last chapter I found a route past the general direction I wanted to take this story. Which basically means I pretty much have an exact plan with this story, hopefully resulting in quicker updates. Just wanted to let you know!

_Warning- this might once again be a confusing chapter but it'll all come together in later chapters._

Enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Six- My Mind Bleeds**

The morning after the kiss I was awoken by Elias's furious voice.

"What the fuck is your problem Billy?" he screamed causing me to jump at the vicious tone.

"It was one kiss. One fucking kiss," Billy argued like it was no big deal.

How the hell did Elias know already?

"No it fucking wasn't. I warned you," Elias continued threateningly.

"I'm not attached get a fucking grip on reality. I don't even give a shit about that bitch."

I couldn't tell if it was the undeniable honesty or the venom in Billy's voice that hurt the most, but God it hurt. It ripped through me like that damned bullet had.

"You are. Yes you fucking are," Elias spat.

How could he assume that when obviously I was nothing but a pawn to Billy. I didn't mean anything to him.

"It's not like your ever around to prevent it."

Wait a minute, did he just admit that... what is wrong with everyone?

"I put my ass on the line so you can stay the fuck out of jail. This is the fifth time. I asked you for one simple favor and you pay me back by fucking up? Get this straightened out or you'll be behind those bars for the rest of your miserable life."

Elias was a very laid back guy most of the time yet I was beyond glad that I wasn't the one on the receiving end of the verbal attacks. Elias could break you down in the blink of an eye and you'd never be able to get back up on your feet. Only one problem, Billy he was exactly the same way.

"That's if I don't shoot you first."

This had to end before I ended up digging two graves. God this made absolutely no sense what so ever.

"Right cause that'll save your ass. News flash it'll just get you thrown in faster moron."

"You know how hard this is for me Eli. I've never been this decent in my life and it's killing me. I'm not some domesticated dog on a leash like you."

"Yeah well you touch her again and you can forget our deal."

Quickly I jumped to my feet and stumbled out of the room clutching my stomach as it ached from the sudden movement.

"Wha... what deal? What are you screaming about?" I slipped out through my clenched teeth.

"Cass just let it go and don't think about it," Elias ordered wrapping an arm around my waist protectively.

"Elias," I snapped pushing him away. "I need some fucking answers. What the fuck is going on?"

"Please just believe me it's for your own safety. I'm saving your life Cass please drop it."

Billy just stood there arms crossed watching us intently a malicious gleam in his eyes.

"Fine then let him off the leash. He can't be that bad."

Billy smirked at me and gave me a look that sent shivers through my body but not in the way it usually did. No this made my muscles scream "run for your life" but I wouldn't, I couldn't move.

"Watch what you wish for Cass. It'll turn around and bite your pretty little ass," Billy hissed.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Elias sneered back.

Billy laughed deeply. "The beast won't get out promise," he spat. "But your staying with her tonight."

"Where are you running off to?" Elias asked as he lead me to the couch and sat me down on it gently.

"Wouldn't want to crush Cass's precious innocence with my explicit ways now would I Eli," Billy chuckled throwing on his trench coat and disappearing out the door.

I glared at Elias as he kneled down in front of me.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" he asked touching a hand to my cheek.

I slapped it away. "NO! He didn't hurt me. Why are you freaking out so much? And for fuck's sake what the hell is going on?"

He sighed heavily and took my hands in his. "I know this doesn't make any sense right now but just trust me. Have I ever given you a reason not to?"

Rolling my eyes I shook my head. "No but-"

I was cut off by his cell phone ringing. He whipped it out of his pocket, flipped it open and pressed it against his ear.

"What the fuck else do you have to say?" he answered.

I couldn't make out who or what the person who had called was saying but I figured from Elias's outburst that it was Billy.

"FUCK YOU!" Elias yelled then slammed the phone shut.

He looked at me apologetically. "What do you think of Baggy and Tommy?"

I shrugged. "They seem cool."

He nodded, "Good cause your spending the day with them."

"What? Why aren't you staying with me?"

"Billy... I have to hang out with Heco and I don't want you around him."

"Hang out as in deal?"

"Well sort of... no."

"I'm not as dumb as I look Elias."

He treated me like I was a baby sometimes.

"I know your not but I'm just sensitive about this whole thing okay."

After that I dropped the subject and went to take a shower. The shower has always a been a place where I find comfort. Even if the water is freezing like it always is in this apartment I still find myself drifting off into the depths of my mind. None of this has made any sense and now I'd be spending an entire day out with ruthless criminals who I'd only met once and that was through Bodie. Billy's right, I really need to get a grip on reality. Even if that wasn't directed towards me I still need to find my way through this fog on my own.

When my teeth started chattering I dragged myself out of the shower and shut off the water. Trembling I wrapped a towel around myself and walked across the hall into the bedroom. I threw on a striped Cami and a pair of damaged jeans. I tossed my boring brunette locks up into a loose bun and tied a red bandanna around my head. With that task done I walked out of the room. I found Elias at the stove cooking up a batch of scrambled eggs and bacon. He turned around and smiled at me.

"How was your shower?"

"Just like every other shower I've ever taken. What are you doing?" I asked quirking an eyebrow.

"I made you some breakfast! Is that so wrong of me?" he muttered turning off the stove.

"I suppose not," I replied as he sat a plate in front of me on the counter.

"Good! Cause I really am sorry I'm never around and I'll make it up to you I promise," he assured me as I took a bite and smiled.

"It's okay people do it to me all the time."

"Cass I don't want to be another regret. Your my best friend and I'm trying but-"

"Really Eli I don't mind," I laughed at his sad face. "Look on the bright side at least we'll have interesting stories to tell our grandkids."

The corners of his mouth turned up and he laughed a little at that, "Yes you will."


	7. Why Can't This Kiss Be True?

As always thank you for the reviews and for reading! I'm glad so many people are interested and have taken a liking to this story because I really love writing it!

On another note this chapter has a few of the other members of the gang in here. I watched the scenes they were in many times trying to figure out how each member acted and functioned but there really was a lot of room left for interpretation. So I just wrote them how I thought they would act and how I wanted them to act. Although if any one has any opinions on a certain members of the gang or any ideas on how to develop them I'd love to hear it. Thanks again!

Enjoy of course!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Seven- Why Can't This Kiss Be True?**

Baggy and I were sprawled out on th couch my legs resting against his and my feet in his lap. Tommy sat on a lawn chair in front of the coffee table eyeing us suspiciously. Baggy was loud, outspoken and overly opinionated. He was also incrediblely charming and I couldn't help but enjoy his careless flirting. Tommy on the other hand was obviously a follower. Billy probably had him kissing the ground he walked on but over all he was a cool guy. Sweet in a way but had that I'll fuck you up attitude the entire gang shared. He made me laugh though and he just did what he was told.

"It's a shame Billy keeps you locked up all the time. I bet you'd enjoy a little fun," Baggy stated giving me a hungry look.

I'd grown accustomed to the fact that this pack of ever hungry wolves were always going to want a large piece of what they couldn't get their dingy paws on.

"I bet you'd enjoy it more," I challenged leaning back against the arm of the couch.

He smirked and licked his lips.

"Why don't you two get a room already?" Tommy whined taking a drag on his cigarette. "Oh that's right Eli'd ring your neck."

Baggy rolled his eyes and reached for the pack on the table. "Elias is paranoid. I'd take good care of her and he knows it."

I laughed as I flipped open the Zippo in my hand, igniting the flame and lighting Baggy's cigarette.

"You keep telling yourself that," I snickered and flipped the lid of the lighter shut.

"If it were Billy you'd be on your hands and knees," Baggy shot back.

"That's bullshit," I snapped.

They both just gave me the same serious look.

"I hate you guys," I pouted.

Bodie suddenly walked in through the door and gave us an annoyed look.

"You look comfortable," he declared.

I exchanged a look with Baggy and we both rolled our eyes. I flipped the lighter lid open and shut repeatedly as the room sat in an awkward silence.

"We've been laying around all day bored out of our fucking minds. When do we get off babysitting?" Tommy grumbled but the humor was easy to detect in his tone.

"Oh shush Tom your having fun admit it," I scowled jokingly.

Bodie just glared at us then threw the car keys at Baggy. "Bring her back in one piece or Eli will have a shit fit."

I gave Baggy and Bodie a questioning look. Tommy quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed my arm.

"Ready to raise some hell," he hollered with a grin.

"Woo," I laughed as Baggy wrapped an arm around my waist and helped me to my feet.

Once on my feet they let me go and I headed into the bedroom. I popped a few pain pills in my mouth then pulled on my red cowboy boots and brown leather jacker. I returned to the living room a few seconds later and we walked out the front door letting Bodie lock up behind us. The whole gang lived in this building or so I had been told by Bodie a while back. Tommy ran down the hall to take the stairs while I followed Baggy down the opposite hall and into the elevator. Slowly the door shut and we started to creak downwards.

"Is Elias in the building?" I asked running my fingers over the lighter in my pocket.

"No but Heco's girlfriend probably knows where he is," he replied looking me in the eye but soon his gaze drifted down my form.

"Is she in the gang?"

"Yeah her and my sister both are."

"You have a sister?"

He nodded still staring at me as the doors opened and we were greeted by very pissed off Billy. Like that was really new. Baggy tore his gaze away from me as I jumped back in surprise and gasped.

Baggy's eyes grew wide but quickly he covered it up with a glare.

"Where do you think your going?" Billy spat.

Tommy's back was pressed up against the far wall as he clutched his shoulder in pain.

Baggy opened his mouth to speak but I intervened.

"We are just getting some air."

The doors started to close but Billy slammed them open with a bang. He yanked me out of the elevator and Baggy slowly followed us like the good solider he was.

"Do you have a problem with that?" I asked stumbling over my own feet and falling against his chest.

He gazed down at me with those hard deep eyes and everything around me faded. All I could focus on was him.

"This isn't your kind of playground," he spoke as his hands ran up the sides of my legs to rest roughly on the small of my back.

"I have Baggy and Tommy to watch my back."

His lips curled up in that horribly wicked smirk. The next thing he did took me completely by shock. He pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth. Unconsciously I had been biting my lip and hadn't realized it until I gasped again.

"I'll find you later," he whispered in my ear and then walked off.

Tommy burst out laughing and Baggy looked... well jealous is the only word to describe the look on his face. Baggy smacked Tommy on the shoulder and he cried out in pain.

"Between you and Billy I'm not gonna have an arm left soon."

I just stood there glued to that spot confused and in utter shock. That man was going to be the death of me yet. Tommy waved a hand in front of my face.

"Hey Cass you still breathing."

I blinked and looked at him. "Oh... yeah... I... yeah."

He laughed and started walking towards the exit. Baggy put his hands on my shoulders and forced me to look him in the eye.

"Snap out of it," he yelled shaking me a bit.

"Sorry," I mumbled looking down at my boots.

All I really wanted to do right now was run after Billy, punch him in the face and then rip off all his clothes and make mad love to him. Either I've officially gone completely nuts or I'm really living one extremely fucked up dream.


	8. Black and Bruised

Thank you for the reviews and reading!

I wasn't sure if I'd get this chapter written today but I started writing and it just kept spilling out so here it is! The next chapter though probably won't be up for a few days because my schedule is pretty booked and I won't have a lot of time to spend on the computer just to let you all know.

Enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Eight- Black and Bruised**

How was I supposed to know that this was the day the truth would come out? Except unfortunately it would be quite brutal.

Baggy, Tommy and I had gone and met Spink, Joe and Dog at the Four Roses. Let's just say I had a bit too much whiskey for me to handle. I had told the boys I was going to restroom but actually I had gone out to get a breath of fresh clean air. I figured that it would be okay if I just walked down the block a little, as long as the bar stayed in sight I'd be fine but I was of course highly mistaken.

I was standing on the corner with my hands wrapped tightly around the stop sign so that I didn't fall over my unstable legs. That's when a group of guys came around the other side of the corner hollering and laughing. I didn't even glance at them as they surrounded me I was too damn focused on getting myself balanced to notice.

"Hey baby need some help?"one of them spoke as he laughed.

I bit my lip in frustration and shook my head which in turn only made me dizzy.

"You sure 'bout that? Cause I know you could help me," he went on laughing harder.

I nodded as I slowly looked up and giggled. "Nope I'm perfect."

The man stared at me with an amused look as did the other three men circling me.

"You look familiar," he pondered with a venomous smirk as he reached out and roughly grabbed my wrist.

Shaking my head I ripped my arm out of his grip but stumbled backwards and fell back onto the pavement hitting the back of my head hard against the cement.

"That's a shame cause I swear I've seen you some where."

I placed a hand to the back of my head and groaned. The man leaned down in front of me and grabbed my hair in his fist and yanked my head back.

"Oh that's right your that Cassidy girl. Elias's sister and Billy's girlfriend," he sneered then slapped me across the face.

"What the fuck? I don't know what the fuck your talking about," I screamed and attempted to kick him but he moved out of my reach tightening his grip on my hair and placing his other hand around my neck.

"That's too bad isn't it," he hissed.

"SHITHEAD GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER," I heard Elias suddenly yell in the distance as the loud rumble of an engine grew closer.

The man in front of me chuckled and got to his feet dragging me up with him. Elias was jumping out of the black Mustang a gun in his hand as Heco sat behind the wheel.

"Ooo I'm so -"

Mid sentence Billy came out of no where and punched the guy in the face his nose breaking with a grotesque snap. I screamed in surprise and the mans grip loosened as he fell backwards. Elias pulled me out of the quickly forming fight and pushed me into the passenger's side the car.

"Get her back to the bar and round up the others," he ordered as Heco nodded. Elias then slammed the door shut and Heco peeled away.

My head ached, everything was spinning, my vision was blurry and my thoughts were all jumbled.

"Oh," I groaned leaning back and clutching my head. "I think I'm gonna pass out."

"No don't-

but Heco's response was a second too late and everything instantly faded to black.

"Nice job keeping an eye on her assholes."

"Dude why's she always passing out."

"Should we get her checked you know she could have a concussion or something."

"Hello-"

"Hello!" _chuckle, __smack._

"I went to medical school for a reason."

Slowly I opened my eyes to find Baggy, Tommy, Elias, Joe and a girl who worked at the bar hovering over me all staring at me with worried eyes.

"Missy go get some water," Elias ordered.

The girl nodded as she got to her feet and dashed out of the room. Elias gave me a weak smile.

"How are you feeling?"

I glanced around the room and then looked back at him. He looked like shit.

"I could use some pain killers but I think I'll live. What the fuck happened?"

Missy came back into the room and handed Elias the glass of water.

"Sit up," he instructed and I slowly pulled myself up to rest against the wall.

He handed me the glass and I took a sip. "Thanks."

"Nice to see you awake Cass but can we go now? We've got things to do," Baggy asked Elias and Tommy nodded signaling he needed to leave too.

"Yeah," he agreed getting to his feet.

"Get some rest Cass. Someone will stay here but I can't tell you who yet cause I don't even know," he told me leaning over and kissing my forehead.

I just nodded my head, my nose and mouth covered by the glass as I sipped. They each waved as they exited the room. Elias was the last out and gave me a pained look before he shut the door behind him. I finished off the glass and wiped my mouth on the back of my hand. My mind was still too screwed up to do anything else but sleep so I laid back down and snuggled up under the blankets letting my eyes lids drift shut.

The soft hum of the television awoke me from my slumber. I laid there for a few minutes just staring at the ceiling trying to get my thoughts in order. I then rolled out of the bed and crept into the living room. Billy was lying on the couch staring blankly at the glowing TV set a lit cigarette held in between his fingers. The only light in the room came from the cigarette and the TV screen.

"Hey you," I spoke standing at the foot of the couch.

He glanced up at me and bent his legs to make room for me to sit. Cautiously I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest.

Silently we sat there until he tossed his cigarette butt into the ash tray and sat upright. I stayed facing the TV glancing at him every few seconds.

"How do you get into this much trouble?" he asked scooting closer and touching a hand to my face.

I flinched and my cheek stung in protest at from the contact. His knuckles were scraped and bloody and that made me gulp down the lump of nervous fear in my throat.

"Just that talented I guess," I joked trying to ease the tension but he just gave me one of his all too famous glares and I recoiled not wanting to push my luck.

He didn't say anything in return just stared straight into my eyes. My stomach started to churn with nauseous fluttering butterflies and a shiver ran down my spine.

"He said I was your girlfriend. What did he mean by that?" I muttered.

"It's a cover so people don't ask too many questions," he growled leaning closer.

"Oh," I exhaled meeting his intense gaze. He held my gaze for a minute before he leaned away and moved back over to the further side of the couch.

"Elias said you needed to eat something when you got up. Then go back to sleep," he stated focusing back on the TV screen.

I watched him for a moment then crawled over to him and sat down in his lap. He didn't look surprised at all. He barely even looked interested but something in his eyes said differently.

"Thank you for saving me Billy," I breathed my face only a few inches away from his.

He looked back at me frowning. "I'm no hero."

I smiled then leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. I expected him to push me away and laugh at me for being even more of an idiot. Only instead he wrapped one arm around my waist, placed his free hand on the back of my neck to draw me closer and kissed me back passionately.


	9. Get Out Alive

Okay I've got a feeling sorry isn't gonna cut it for the really slow update but I have a genuine excuse. I really have been trying to work on updates but this has just been the week and whatever amount of days from hell. I swear any extra time I have had has been set aside to work on this chapter and updates will pick up again once finals are over. I really am sorry though I really have been trying.

Thanks for reading, reviewing and your patience and as always enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Nine- Get Out Alive**

I shivered as Billy rolled over taking all the blankets with him. The sun was rising over the horizon causing pink and orange rays to slip in through the window. I sat up and slapped Billy's shoulder. No we didn't have sex, much to my disappointment we were both still fully clothed but I had slept most of the night cuddled up in his strong arms.

"What?" he mumbled into the pillow.

"I'm cold asshole," I snapped with a grin.

I couldn't deny it forever. He was like a drug. A strong, addictive drug that once you got a taste of you couldn't let it go, you had to have more and it was evident that I was addicted. Oh what I'd do for more.

He rolled onto his back and looked up at me. I just sat there making faces at the wall. He grabbed my ankle and pinned me back down against the bed. Then he placed himself between my legs as he leaned over me.

"Still cold?" he smirked.

"Ha ha," I mocked rolling my eyes.

He smirked and then got up out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" I asked with a pout.

"Don't want Elias walking in and getting the wrong idea," he growled and then walked out of the room.

I sighed heavily and then pulled the warm blankets over myself and drifted back to sleep. Then somehow time just started to slip away faster.

A week later I sat on the hood of Billy's car sipping a cherry soda and watching the gang argue and fight about lack of payment, Heco slacking off and whatever various issues were brought up. I really wasn't paying that much attention. I tried to for a while I swear but it was just one of those days where everything was moving in slow motion even though no one else seemed to notice. It's overall a really annoying feeling, not being able to keep up with everyone else, just breathing, barely alive. The only positive I've found is that somehow the world and everything in it looks so much more real. It's easier to notice things most people glance over and never think about on a regular basis. My mind was working on overtime. A thousand thoughts and memories all running though my head at once but only one stood out among the cloudy mess. Plus with the scorching sun breathing down my leather covered back there's no doubt I'd be a bit loony.

When I was little my grandpa and I used to sit down on the living room couch every Sunday morning and watch old western movies. Elias and I then used to pretend we were cowboys or in my case cowgirl and we'd run around the little town we lived in raising hell and having showdowns in the middle of the street. Only back then we used plastic toy guns now Elias carried an stainless steel automatic that had absolutely no quality of amusement to it at all. In fact it terrified me but what didn't these days?

What really triggered the memories though wasn't Elias but the way the gang reminded me of those old western movies just without the cowboy hats and horses. They just had that look in their eyes, in the way they stood, the way the dressed and overall how they presented themselves. Billy was the center of it all. I swear when he walked into a room I could hear the background music playing behind him. It was an odd resemblance yet it was just one more thing that I could learn to find comforting. As long as it didn't end the same way it did in the movies I would all be fine, right?

All they needed was a tumble weed to roll by and they'd be set but in the middle of the city it was pretty unlikely. Billy strolled over to me the old western theme playing in the back of my head. His trench coat blowing behind him giving his natural threatening look and a bit more intimidation. The anger in his eyes sparked as the hot blaring sun fought against them. I've got a feeling though that if the sun and Billy got into a real fight over which was more vicious Billy'd dominate.

"Hungry?" he asked his voice more raspy and lower than usual. Maybe it was just from the heat but I highly doubted it.

I shrugged and looked up at him blocking the sun that tainted my sight with a hand. His eyes were as cold as ever. Solid orbs of never ending rage gazing off behind me checking the surroundings. I reached out a hand and tugged on the collar of his coat. His intense eyes snapped down and met mine softening slightly at the smile on my lips.

"Sure, I'm hungry," I shrugged as I tugged on his collar again. "Just no more pizza."

He nodded, his eyes never straying to far from mine and lightly he grabbed my chin tilting my head back frowning at my oddly colored cheek. It almost seemed like the bruise would never fade.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I'd kill for a burger right about now."

He quirked a brow and glanced over his shoulder at the rest of the gang.

"What's wrong? Oh my god Billy you really aren't thinking about ditching me again are you?" I teased slapping his shoulder but we both knew it was the truth. Being alone was driving me mad.

He grabbed my wrist and yanked me up onto my feet. "Get in the car quick," he ordered turning back to me and giving me a serious look.

I did as I was told of course like the good girl I was. Ugh gag me please. Billy slipped into the driver's seat as I shut the car door and the engine roared to life before I even had time to look up. With in seconds we were half way down the block.

"What the fuck's the rush?" I laughed tossing my now empty bottle of soda out the window.

"Shut up and be happy that I'm not taking you home."

I leaned back into the seat with a huff and stared out the window. Don't get me wrong I really was in love with Billy, well maybe "in love" is a bit much, but god would it kill him to be nice for a minute. It just seems like I'm a road block, just another obstacle screwing up their lives even more. I already knew I really wasn't wanted but is it too much to ask for a little respect.

"Would it just rip you apart inside just to treat me like a fucking equal for even a second?"

It burst out past my lips before I could even grasp the words in my brain. Why didn't I ever think before I said what was on the tip of my tongue?

Billy slammed on the brakes causing the cars behind swerving as we screeched to a halt.

"Shit! What the fuck's your problem?" I screamed but then I glanced up at Billy's face and could feel my damned bones start to shake from the anger radiating off of him.

"Sorry," I mumbled trying desperately to shrink as far back into the seat as possible praying it would suck me in and I'd disappear.

No such luck exists with me.

His knuckles turned an awful shade of white from his immovable grip on the steering wheel far more unbearable than the color of hospital walls.

"Cass..." he breathed out with a hiss.

I didn't dare say a word. I'd already said far too many.

"What part of shut up didn't you understand?"

I just stared straight ahead tears forming in my eyes. I wish I wasn't so weak all the time.

"CASS WHY DON'T YOU GET IT," he screamed grabbing me roughly by the shoulders and shaking me violently.

I bit down on my lip forcing back the tears with my closed eyes. I had to get out of here I couldn't take it anymore. This was too much, too out of hand.

I pushed him away with all the force I had which really wasn't that much but it loosened his grip enough that I could pry the door open and dart out of the car. I wasn't taking any chances. Everyman for himself right? So I headed straight for the trees. My abdomen burning, tears blurring my vision, no idea where I was going except that Billy would have to follow me on foot if he wanted to catch me. Just keep running that's all I had to do was to keep running as far from the city as I could get or as far as I could get before I died. I was running for my life.


	10. Saddest Sight, Melt Away

Thank you so much for all the amazing reviews and to the people who read of course!

I hope this holds everyone over for a few days because I might not be able to get the next chapter up till Friday but I promise it'll be up Friday no matter what.

As always enjoy the story!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter 10- Saddest Sight, Melt Away**

I ran and ran until my legs gave out from under me and I collapsed on the hard dirty ground clutching my aching stomach and gasping for the air that wouldn't, couldn't reach my lungs. This was it, this was the end. Leaning back against the rough bark of the nearest tree I closed my eyes and my body began to shut down. Each limb grew numb and I couldn't control the pouring tears. I'd love, laugh and dance again. It was so much better off this way. Everything would be so much better once I was gone from this life.

That's why when the twig snapped near me I wanted to scream. Only I couldn't even if I gave the effort. Why did he come after me? Why didn't he just leave me to die? He didn't want me anyway why couldn't he let me go? I couldn't look at him. If I couldn't see him he wasn't there.

"Get... away," I managed to exhale.

"Either you come back with me now or walk home yourself," he spoke his low voice barely audible through the deafening beat of my heart pounding against my eardrums.

Slowly I opened my heavy eyelids. "So your just going to toss me in my grave?"

My voice was hoarse and I was choking on my own dry throat.

"I'm stuck between the desire to kill you right here and throw your body in the lake or to protect you like I promised."

He towered over me his large frame casting a shadow over my fallen form. I stared through him. Trying to ignore the fact that I couldn't get my own body to work. Everything was fighting against me now.

"Which will it be then? Because if your planning on offing me please take the initiative and just do it now," I spat forcing each joint one by one to move.

"No," he replied his voice frigid.

He could have been a statue right now and I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. I didn't care for his excuses and disagreements.

"Why not?" I asked pulling myself to my numb feet with the help of the tree trunk, my legs trembling in protest.

He was standing before me motionlessly documenting my every movement with only his eyes. His hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides and other than that he looked absolutely emotionless. I grabbed onto his arm and then leaned against him for support. He still towered over me. We stared at each other daring the other to be the first to speak. I snaked an arm behind him and pulled his pistol from his waistband. Then I placed the barrel against the center of my chest. Exactly where my heart was. I reached down taking his hand and wrapping it around the trigger then placing both my hands on top of his. We stood there like that for what seemed like hours a small bitter grin upon my lips. His muscles tensed more with each passing second.

"Don't make me help you," I sneered.

"You need to be locked up."

"Aren't you proud of your little monster. Pull the damn trigger," I screamed our faces only inches apart.

"No," he nearly whimpered.

"Why not?" I screamed again.

Within that same second everything shattered. If Billy had been a brick building it would have just imploded. I could almost see the debris crumbling from the distorted structure. He looked me straight in the eyes and my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach squashing all those stupid butterflies. I never once imagined I'd ever see this kind of emotion from him. I never thought he could crush me so simply.

"I... I... can't," he stuttered his voice barely above a whisper.

The sad glint in his eyes hurt more than anything I'd ever felt before. I'd much rather take a hundred more bullets than ever see that look again. He removed the gun from my grasp and pushed me roughly to the ground. I let myself fall and I barely noticed the impact of the tree against my already bruised back. He fell to his knees beside me as he tossed the gun out of my reach.

"Please," I cried. "Just end this."

He shook his head as he placed a hand on each side of my face and pressed his lips against mine. It wasn't rushed, rough or like any of the other kisses Billy had graced me with. No this one was a simple sweet kiss that held all the emotion he kept bottled up deep inside. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced.

"I could never hurt you," he muttered against my lips, resting his forehead against mine, cradling me in his arms, his hands finding all my even weaker places.

"Why? I moaned my arms wrapped tightly around his neck fingers lightly tracing along the curves of his tattoos.

"I need you."

For now that was a good enough answer for me and I couldn't keep control of my lips any longer. Billy managed to carry me all the way back to car and set me gently down in the passengers seat. By the time he got the car started I was fast asleep with my head rested on the warm window.

I woke up completely disoriented. I found a glass of water on the nightstand and quickly gulped it down. I pulled myself off the bed the glass still in my hand then step by step made my way out of the room. Billy was passed out on the couch laying in only a pair of jeans. As if on cue a blush took over my face and I scowled at the heat of it. I walked over to sink and refilled my glass and when I turned back around I saw the one thing I never ever thought I'd live to see.

Billy laid there his oddly softened eyes resting on my red face and a smile, a really genuinely happy smile spread across his lips.

"What?" I asked my face growing hotter.

He shook his head but continued to smile at me. I walked over and sat down on his stomach he groaned but then started to laugh.

"We're psychos," I giggled sipping on my water.

"Probably," he replied taking my free hand in his.

Smiling back at him I set my glass on the floor then leaned down and pressed my lips to his. He kissed back the same sweet way he did earlier. Pulling back I trailed wet kisses down his neck and slowly kissed and nibbled my way across his shoulders and down his arms his tattoos my guiding my path. He sighed contently and kissed my fingertips, his free hand rubbing light circles over my back causing me to gasp and groan when he hit bruises.

"Cassidy," he moaned when I clawed my nails down his chest and ran my fingers under the waistband of his jeans.

"Yes?" I mumbled against his neck.

He lifted my chin up and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "Stop."

I nodded as he kissed me again. Then pulling away I rested my head against his chest I listened to his quickened breathing and racing heart rate as I shut my eyes and took a well needed nap.


	11. Helpless Victim of A Spiders Web

Surprise! New chapter up ahead of schedule! Okay first of all I made a plot decision that could either kill me or make the story even better. I'm hoping that it's a positive move on my part but I don't know. I've been wanting to incorporate this into a story for a while and somehow it just fit here. I kind of borrowed the idea from The Black Donnellys and Domino. Anyway we are hitting a point now where the end is starting to become a big factor in the rest of the story so I needed to start preparing for it. I know that's a sad thought I really love this story a lot. No worries though there are at least six to eight more chapters maybe more you never know.

So please let me know what you think of the new twist and everything else. Thanks!

_Warning- _This chapter might be a bit confusing and please read the entire author's note. It helps explain things. Well sort of.

Thanks for reviews, reading and enjoy the eleventh chapter!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Eleven- Helpless Victim of A Spiders Web**

"Cassidy are you in there?" Elias asked as he banged on the room door. "CASSIDY!"

"Can I take a rain check?" I replied pulling away from Billy briefly so Elias didn't start to panic.

Billy kissed his way across my bare skin, his hands memorizing every inch and curve of my naked body.

"No Cass. You've got ten minutes or I'm breaking the damn door down."

Billy groaned but made no effort to stop. Truth is I didn't want him to stop.

"I need to go," I moaned.

He looked down at me. "Fine," he growled then pressed his lips to mine as I gasped from his teasing touch.

Elias sat across from me at one of the corner booths in Burger King. He stared at me intently as I nibbled on my cheeseburger.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked motioning to his untouched food.

"How long have you been fucking Billy?"

I had a feeling this was coming. Elias knew everything that went on in my life. It freaked me out sometimes but at least I never had to really explain anything.

I thought about it for a second then grabbed a fry and dipped it into my ketchup.

"Eh a week maybe a little longer."

Elias rolled his eyes and finally unwrapped his whopper and took a bite.

"Where have you been?" I asked. It was my turn to watch him.

He shrugged. "You know... around."

"Hookers and heroin."

"Cass you know I'm not like that. Well at least not the hooker part."

"Wow that's exciting."

"I've been taking care of things."

"Excluding me," I mumbled chewing absently on my straw as I stared out the window mentally taking notes on the people passing by.

Elias threw his burger down onto the tray and looked at me with disbelief.

"Are you fucking serious?"

"No... sure... maybe..."

What was I supposed to say? Sure I had Billy now but Elias was still my best friend. He was still the most important person in my life and I couldn't deny that his absence hurt. It hurt a hell of a lot.

He looked like he wanted to punch something, someone... me. I turned back to him to take a mental picture. Not wanting to forget the few moments I had left to spend with him when I noticed something horribly disturbing. He was so much paler than I remember him being. His eyes so much duller, glossy and blank. He looked tattered, abused. He looked like he... like he belonged in the gang. He looked exactly like them, exactly like a wild beast. Yet under the clothes, under the rage he looked like a corpse. My Elias was suddenly someone completely different. My Elias was dead and I hadn't even realized it.

After that we really didn't talk. If we did it was small talk, simple chit-chat, just words. The ghost of my best friend haunting me through this sick corpse who calls himself Elias. He dropped me back off at the front of the apartment building and then left to go finish "things". I was a big girl I could handle whatever shit he did, he didn't have to hide anything anymore. Yet he still kept his secrets to himself and left me to fend for myself. At least I had Billy to protect me now so really he had no need to worry.

My mind wandered as I waited for the agonizingly slow elevator. _Ding!_ it warned and when the doors opened Billy was leaning against the back wall looking very pleased.

"What's up?" I questioned stepping into the elevator.

He hit the button for the third floor and as the doors shut he pushed the red stop button locking us in. Then he turned to face me and pushed me up against the wall and practically attacked me with his eager fingertips and lips.

I had never had sex in an elevator before, never even considered it but there I was panting and moaning in ecstasy as he did awful but wonderful things to me.

Twenty minutes later I was getting into the passenger side of the black Mustang.

"Where are we going?" I asked not really expecting an answer.

Billy smirked at me and I quirked a brow but I never got an answer.

The next thing I knew I was higher than a kite and drunk off my ass as some guy the gang knew was giving me a tribal tattoo across my chest. I didn't feel the pain till the next morning when every part of my body ached. All of it Billy's fault. If only I wasn't such a sucker for bad boys.

* * *

"And so you see _Detective_ that's how I got here," I spat my long stringy bangs falling in to my face. 

Now days my voice was raspier, a breathy croak. No longer the soft harmony everyone had come to know. No I was barely even the same person anymore. I had become just like him. Exactly the way he was when I first came stumbling into his life. I was an animal.

I had my feet propped up on the table a cigarette lit between my fingers. I was still in the same blood stained white tank top and jeans I had been in two days ago. I was covered in dirt and dried blood my wounds all hand-wrapped myself.

"That doesn't answer my question. I'll repeat this one last time where are the bodies."

"Oh," I sighed leaning my head back to stare at the ceiling. "I don't know... I'm not the one who takes the trash out."

"Well then it's a shame your all alone because either way your going to be locked up for a long time."

I laughed and took a drag on my cigarette. "Not like I'm missing much."

"Look your just a kid who got mixed up with the wrong crowd-"

"I beg to differ."

"Really? What else is there?"

"The rest of the story."

Wallis looked entirely frustrated as she leaned back and took off the cap of her pen. She had been documenting my every word, my every movement for the last twenty four hours. Even though she obviously was exhausted she seemed almost pleased that there was more.

"Alright," she tapped the end of the pen to the paper. "Continue."

Too bad Wallis didn't know that the moment I finished tell this story, the moment I reached the end I'd be faced with only one choice. Heaven or hell?

* * *

Billy watched me out the corner of his eye from across the room. I'd been trying to ignore him all night long. I had a job to do. I needed to get paid. My tattoo had for the most part healed and let me tell you it didn't look bad. 

"Cass, Billy wants you over at the billiard table," Missy whispered in my ear.

I set down the Jack Daniels bottle I had in my hand and turned sharply to face her.

"Tell him I'm working."

"Gee girl don't flip your shit. I'd just rather not be his next victim."

She was referring to Billy decking Baggy in the face for looking at me wrong. He had a nasty bruise right under his right eye that was deep shades of purple and blue. Billy had in the past two weeks become excessively protective. I sighed heavily and stomped over to the billiard table. It was only my fifth day working at the Four Roses and I really didn't want to screw this up. Life was starting to work out, I was finally on track, I was no longer just a hostage. Billy grabbed my arm and dragged me into the back room.

"Hello! I'm working Bill! What could possibly be so important?" I yelled ripping my arm out of his grasp.

"Elias is missing," he stated seriously.

"WHAT?" I screamed but he quickly slapped a hand over my mouth.

I hadn't even seen Elias in days, I hadn't spoken to him in weeks.

"I need you to do me a favor."

"I'm working."

"The gang comes first you agreed to that when you joined."

I rolled my eyes but finally gave in. "What do I do?"

He sighed and bowed his head. This wasn't going to be good.

"You remember that guy who almost killed you outside of here a few months ago?"

"Yeah, of course. It's hard to forget someone like that."

"His name is Darren. He's the leader of a rival gang."

"So what does... oh my God! Billy NO I can't!"

"We don't have a choice."


	12. Scream Bloody Murder

Thank you for reading and reviewing! Sorry there isn't much of an authors note and that this update was a little slow. I'm having some issues but that's not really important. I'm glad there was such a positive response to my plot decision! I'm kind of a risk taker when it comes to writing but this one had me a bit worried. Let me know what you think and if there are any questions don't be afraid to PM me, I don't bite. Well, enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Twelve- Scream Bloody Murder**

A green 1968 Chevrolet Camaro with two white stripes on the hood pulled up to the curb beside me and I could feel my skin start to crawl. What the fuck had I gotten myself into? These people were vile disgusting rats that I didn't want to ever be near again, especially after the last encounter. Stupid girl, that's what your thinking, don't deny it you are. It's all in the name of love though, isn't it? I mean I've seen people kill themselves for love. Putting your life on the line for someone who makes you feel like your walking on air when they say your name, makes your skin tingle when they touch you and makes you scream for all the right reasons. That is love isn't it?

The window rolled down slowly and I was greeted by a coy taunting smirk, "I had a feeling I'd run into you again."

I leaned on the window sill and gave him one of Billy's all too famous glances. Well tried to best I could, my skills were quite lacking. I was a girl of bright warm smiles with soft innocent eyes. How could I be intimidating? 

"We're just the bumping into types," I replied squinting my eyes.

His smirk turned into a grin, "Billy not satisfying your needs." 

"It's more of impulse." That wasn't a lie. It was impulse to want to run away but Billy needed me to do this. I needed to find Elias. 

"Get in," he chuckled reaching over unlocking the door and propping it open. 

I slid into the seat and instantly crossed my legs and arms. Just because I was here didn't mean I wanted to be. Maybe he'd loose interest fast, hopefully. 

Four hours later I stumbled through the apartment door drunk, high, violated and battered. Elias and Joe sat on the couch watching the news and when Elias glanced over at me his eyes went wide. I'm sure I looked awful but right then all I wanted to do was rip out Elias's throat and run Billy over with his God forsaken car. 

"Cassidy, shit are you okay?" Elias asked worry apparent in his voice as he got up and ran over to me.

I backed away out of his reach, "DO I FUCKING LOOK OKAY TO YOU?"

"Cassidy I-

"YOU WHAT? You disappear and don't expect people to go looking for you. I went though all this FOR NOTHING."

"Cass, please," he pleaded resting a hand on my arm. I yelped in pain and tears stung as they slid down my scraped cheeks. 

"DON'T TOUCH ME," I ripped my arm away and pushed him back. 

"What happened?" Tears built up in his eyes threatening to fall off the brim of his eyelids. 

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE," I screamed and then ran into the bedroom slamming the door shut and locking it. How did I never notice the fucking lock before?

I stripped off my tattered clothes and huddled up under the blankets tears pouring from my eyes as I tried desperately to block the world out with a pillow. 

"How'd you get home?" A gruff voice asked causing my eyelids to flutter open. 

I must have fallen asleep because I was suddenly very confused by what was going on. The pillow was ripped off my head and Billy sat beside me looking completely pissed off, as usual. Why bother breaking routine? 

"I took the bus," I mumbled turning so that my back was to him. 

I really didn't want to deal with this right now. All I wanted was for him to stay the fuck away from me. 

"You shouldn't have run."

What the fuck did he know about what I should have done? I didn't want to get raped that's why I ran. Is that not a good enough reason? Not that it did me any good, who knew a body could handle so many beatings? I didn't say anything. I didn't have anything to say. I wasn't like him. I wasn't strong. 

He sighed heavily then laid down and ran his fingers lightly down my bare back avoiding all the bruises, scrapes and cuts. 

"I'm sorry Cassidy."

Did he just apologize? Did Billy Darley just say he's sorry?

"What?" I hissed though clenched teeth. 

This couldn't be Billy it just couldn't be. Carefully he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me against him. 

"Don't worry they won't ever touch you again," he whispered in my ear and then nuzzled up against my shoulder leaving a trail of kisses behind.

"Okay," I mumbled and closed my eyes. 

There really wasn't anything more or less I could do or say. Only time would tell, right?

* * *

"Alright so let me get this straight," Wallis shook her head. "You pretended to be a hooker to find Elias but you got scared and ran away and then he ended up being safe the entire time?"

I stared at her blankly. "It's really rude to interrupt."

"Did Billy love you?" she asked staring straight at me.

My eye twitched. She'd hit a nerve. "No."

"Then why did he care what happened to you?"

"If you don't want to hear the story just say so but you might never get a chance to hear it again."

"And why is that?"

I shrugged. 

She sighed. "Continue..."

* * *

I woke around nine am and found Billy was still asleep with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I shifted my weight and rolled over so I was facing him. He looked so peaceful when he slept. It was the only time when his anger wasn't in control. Reaching out a hand I traced along his tattoo's as I watched his steady chest rise and fall with each breath. A smirk slowly formed on his lips. 

"Go back to sleep babe."

"I'm not tired," I mumbled snuggling closer to his warm body my head resting on his chest. 

"Are you hungry?" I asked smiling up at him after a few minutes of silence all my rage from the night before gone. 

He didn't mean to be so cruel it was just the way he was, the way he was raised, it was how he survived.

"Yeah why?"

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his then pulled back and smiled once again. He made me giddy, how strange was that?

"You rest up and I'll be back in a bit."

He nodded and kissed my cheek, my lips then let me go. I crawled out of bed and pulled on a pair of his jeans and a random tank top before getting to my feet and hopping out the bedroom door. Elias was on the couch with the news still on the TV screen. He looked up and then quickly looked away. He looked like he'd been up all night crying, but Elias didn't cry, boys like him didn't cry. 

"I'm not going to apologize for something I didn't do," he spoke his voice hoarse.

"I don't want you to apologize."

"... Where's Billy?" he asked watching my every move.

"Asleep."

He nodded, "How are you?"

"Fine."

"Your a horrible lier."

"We all have our flaws."

He grimaced. "Who are you?" he asked seriously.

I was dumbfounded. "What do you mean who am I? I'm Cassidy."

He shook his head. "I was trying to save you and all I did was kill you faster."

"What are you talking about?"

He glanced toward the TV and so I did the same.

"_Breaking news! A brutal slaughtering has occurred at a local warehouse. Darren Waters and his gang's bodies were discovered early this morning-_

My thoughts started to swirl out of control. They were all alive only a few hours ago. I have the proof. How could-

"I think it's time you know the truth... the entire truth."

I just stared at him. Now he decided to tell me this! After nine people were murdered because of me. After all the pain I went through, after all the... Oh God he's trying to get me to hate Billy. He's going to blame this all on him.

"No, no I don't want to hear it."

"Yes you do," Billy's raspy voice startled me.

I hadn't even noticed he was behind me.

"No Billy I don't."

"Just listen to him," he ordered.

"Why should I? He abandoned me!" I shrieked.

"No one abandoned you Cass," Elias argued softly trying to calm me down. Well too damn late for that.

"Shut up Elias! Yes you did! You did and Billy you did too!"

"What did you expect from me?" Billy shrugged. 

"Did you kill them? Was it you?" I asked silently hoping it wasn't him. Even though the answer was obvious. 

"They had it coming," Billy replied like it was no big deal but it was. It fucking was. Nine people were dead because of me. 

"I have to make breakfast," I muttered and ran over to the stove. 

Billy sat down beside Elias and pat him on the back as he whispered something in his ear causing Elias to chuckle. Loyal dog. Sit Eli. Roll over. Good boy Eli. Play dead... bang!

"Cassidy?" they both questioned from the couch. 

"I'm fine it was just a glass."

It was just a glass that wasn't a lie. I had dropped a glass and it shattered slicing both my palms wide open. Either I had really, really bad luck or God hated me. Right now it was probably both. What a shame. 


	13. Disappear

Thank you for reading and for reviewing! You guys rock!

Anyway, I apologize that this chapter took so long to get posted. I've had some writer's block.

Also I hope no one hates me for this story going kind of "nuts" for lack of a better word. There's a point though. Yeah it's depressing and really chaotic and insane but there is a reason for it and I hope people understand or sort of understand it. If you really want to know more you can PM me and ask directly but I promise by the last few chapters it'll all make sense even if a lot of this is borderline unbelievable.

Thanks for everything... enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter 13- Disappear**

"Hey Baby what do I call you?" slurred the man before me, teeter-tottering on the stool as he reached across the counter and stoked the back of my hand.

"Lila," I grinned, my bleeding lips consumed by the thought of manipulating this all too sleazy man.

These days I changed my name as often as my shade of lip gloss. Some days pink, other days red, most days whatever I had in my pocket at the time. Trust me it's amazing what a few weeks of intoxicated ass slaps can do on the personality. I'd also made a nasty habit of gnawing on my lips whenever anything bugged and a lot of things bugged me.

"Sexy," he practically drooled.

"Sorry I'm taken," I sneered and slammed a glass of beer down in front of him a good portion of it spilling out onto the counter top.

I quickly slipped out from behind the bar and went over to clean off some tables when a rowdy group of guys in the far back, next to the billiard tables caught my eye. Elias had his eyes glued to me even though Tommy was trying frantically to get his attention. I glanced around the table and counted heads. Everyone was present except for one, the one. Bodie looked up and we made eye contact with one swift gesture he motioned me over. I shook my head and turned my attention back to the tables I was supposed to be cleaning. I didn't take any orders from anyone anymore. Nope if I was going to live here I was going to be treated like an equal not someones bitch.

"That's no way to treat your superiors," Bodie spoke from behind me, close behind me. I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck.

"Well that doesn't really include you then, does it?" I smirked spinning around to face him and placing a hand under his chin.

His eyes narrowed in anger. No one liked the new me but it was all their fault and they knew it.

"Don't worry I won't tell anyone," I snickered as I walked away tauntingly swaying my hips.

"Hey," Missy greeted as she hopped through the door.

The corners of my mouth twitched upward slightly and I nodded.

"Billy wants to see you," she whispered in my ear as she met me behind the counter.

"So... his legs work, he can come find me if its that important."

She raised a brow but concern flickered in her eyes. "Is something wrong with you two?"

I looked back as her and shook my head. "No but that doesn't mean I'm his pet."

"No one said you were."

"Really... It's none of your business," and with that I went into the back, grabbed my things and left.

I took the bus back to the apartment even though Elias hated it. He claimed my tattoos drew too much attention to myself. Whatever, Billy didn't care. I didn't care. Fuck him, he never had time until I didn't want him around so it's fair.

I climbed my way up the stairs just to kill time. It's not like I had anywhere to be. The elevator needed a break anyway. As I made my way down the hall I took my time and studied all the graffiti until I reached the door. I turned the door knob and it was unlocked. Idiots. The TV was left on and there was cigarette butts, leftover food and beer bottles and cans littered all over the house. I was never here long enough anymore to actually spend time cleaning up after the boys. Sighing I threw my stuff on the couch, shrugged off my jacket and kicked off my boots then started pick up some of the trash.

"Wha' ya doin'?" he asked causing me too jump in surprise. I whipped around and found him in only a pair of boxers. He just raised an eyebrow and stared at me.

"Shouldn't you be running a corner or something," I snapped crossing my arms over my chest.

He just continued to stare and slowly his lips formed that fucking awful smirk. God why did he have to be such an ass all the time?

He shrugged and stepped forward. "I have other plans."

"Good for you," I rolled my eyes and turned away from him before I crumbled. He'd make me crumble, he always did.

He chucked and snaked his arms around my waist pulling me firmly against him. I hissed and growled in frustration. He ignored it and pressed his lips against my neck.

"Billy stop!" I groaned which instantly turned into a moan as he sharply bit my neck.

He turned me around and smirked down at me.

"I'm not in the mood," I glared up at him.

He frowned and shook his head, "Fine." Then he leaned down and kissed me roughly but pulled away just as I started to kiss back.

"Bitch," he spat then pushed me backwards.

"Billy," I breathed as he walked out of the room. He stopped in the doorway but didn't turn around. After a long pause he slowly turned to face me.

"Wh-"

I was on my feet in seconds and pounced on him, my lips quickly finding his.

An hour later I rolled over and snuggled up against his chest happily, a small smile gracing my lips. He sighed heavily and ran a hand down my bare back.

"What's wrong?" I asked looking up into his suddenly dull eyes.

He sat up pulling me up with him. He then leaned down and placed a sweet light kiss on lips before getting to his feet and getting dressed.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

Something didn't seem right. Something was very wrong. I had that horrible feeling again, I just knew something bad was about to happen.

He turned his back to me and spoke a single word, "Goodbye."

Then he was gone. At first I told myself to not worry, he'd be back sooner or later but he didn't come back. A week passed and I didn't see him once. I didn't see him or anyone else, no Billy, no Elias, no Joe, no Baggy, no Tommy, no Bodie, no one. Not once did any of them come to the apartment, not once did I see one of the cars, not once were any of them at the bar. I had been left. I had been abandoned.

"Cassidy? You okay girly?" Missy asked waving a hand in front of my face.

I slapped it away and glared at her. "I'm fucking fine," I sneered pouring myself a shot and gulping it down.

"Woah! Honey calm down on the shots there, you've had at least five in the last ten minutes. There's no need to get wasted because of a little misunderstanding," she shook her head taking the Jack Daniels bottle out of my hand.

"Oh sweetie," I growled grabbing her wrist and ripping the bottle out of her grasp. "Do me a favor and next time you see Baggy tell him to jump of a cliff."

Then I stormed out of the bar and out into the rain.

* * *

The door burst open and a police officer barged in glaring at me as he turned to Wallis. Stuck up bastard.

"There's something I think you need to see Wallis," he announced glancing over at me the back at Wallis. "Want me to lock her up?"

Wallis groaned and nodded. The officer slapped handcuffs on my wrists and yanked me to my feet by my forearm.

"Hey Buddy you enjoying this?" I smirked giving him a wink.

He pushed me roughly out the door as I chuckled loudly. Oh this should be fun.


	14. Don't Look Down

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! I never feel like I say that enough because without all of you this story wouldn't be where it is now so thank you so, so much!

Um okay so there are a lot of chapters left actually so no one needs to worry about this story abruptly ending but I do have the very last chapter written already. So I do know where I'm heading with this. Anyway not a super long note this time but thanks again!

Enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter 14- Don't Look Down**

I sat in a cell staring blankly at the wall. I'd been like this for over three hours now. Not like it was a big deal or anything just very boring.

"Did you know about Bones Darley?" Wallis asked from the opposite side of the steel bars.

I didn't look at her. I just continued to stare at the wall. "Know what?"

"That he was dead."

I sighed heavily rolling the kinks out of my sore shoulders. "I'm sure that was a beautiful sight."

Wallis shook her head as she opened the jail cell and stepped inside.

"The room is being used at the moment which means we can either continue here or you can get some sleep and we'll finish in the morning," she informed me as she took a seat on the bench beside me.

"I won't remember in the morning."

She nodded as I gathered my thoughts sifting through the events that plagued my mind every second of my existence.

* * *

I had gone to the corner booze store to get more Jack Daniels when out of the corner of my eye I saw Joe across the parking lot. I swear I boiled over with rage. I snapped. I dropped everything in my hands and ran out the door straight up to Joe and decked him square in the jaw. He groaned in pain and turned around to punch me back but when he realized who it was he looked startled.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I screamed.

He just stared at me in shock until he pushed me to the ground and darted off down the street. I should have followed him but I was too pissed. So I turned to the guy Joe had been talking to and kicked him in the knee. He yelped as he collapsed onto the ground but instead of fighting back he gave me a sympathetic look. That only pissed me off more.

"Where are they?" I screamed at him grabbing him by his collar and yanking him to his feet.

"Go to Bones Body Shop. Bones will know."

So that's what I did. I stomped back into the store grabbed my Jack Daniels bottle, popped it open and took a swig then I went straight to Bones' shop. I tossed my empty now empty bottle to the ground letting it shatter at my feet then slipped through the gate, barely avoided getting mauled by the guard dog and walked right up to Bones' desk.

"Who the fuck are you?" he spat glaring up at me for interrupting his work.

It didn't look like he was really doing much but what did I know. I glanced down at the desk and noticed a few disassembled guns and ammo. A small smirk crept across my lips.

"You sell these?" I asked gesturing to the guns.

"Yeah."

"How much?"

He sneered at me but then gave me a curious look. "You after somebody?"

"You could say that," I replied my smirk turning into a twisted grin.

"How much you got?"

I thought about it for a second. How much did I have?

"I'll give you my bank account number and you can take what you want," I offered.

"How much is in there?"

He didn't trust me or he thought I was joking either way though I could really use the insurance a gun offered.

"Last time I checked more than enough."

He considered it for a few minutes before kicking back the chair and getting to his feet. "Well... you got a preference."

Instantly I thought back to my experience with guns. I'd never been big with names or types or what not but I did know what I liked.

"Revolvers," I answered as he opened a safe on the wall.

He stood and contemplated his selection then reached in and pulled a few out.

"How about these?" He asked as he pressed a revolver in each of my palms.

The smooth cold chrome metal shined brightly and I grinned again. "Perfect."

I scribbled down my account number on a piece of paper and any other information he might possibly need.

"Pleasure doing business with you," I laughed as I turned to leave.

"You lookn' for Billy."

I stopped abruptly and sharply turned on my heel. "Yeah."

"Try the old insane asylum," He glared at me but I could see the disgusting smirk on his lips.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"Your dead body will be on the news in the morning I'm sure," he chuckled sitting back down in his chair.

"Probably," I shrugged and then I left.

The revolvers were hidden away safely tucked under my jacket by the time I reached the worn down building and sure enough both the cars were parked out front. I crept past the cars and through the front doors. I slowly made my way through the building room by room every once in a while dodging one of the oblivious boys. Then I reached a chapel and heard familiar voices inside. Carefully I took out one of my revolvers and loaded it then I pushed open the door and stepped through the doorway.

Bodie was the first to look over at me. He seemed a little surprised but only a little. He shook his head and laughed until he noticed the gun in my right fist. Panic flared in his eyes and I smirked. Elias was the next to notice me and the first to speak.

"Cassidy! What the fu-

I aimed straight at him and glared. Three against one wasn't exactly good odds especially when all three had their own weapons in easy reach and were far more experienced in using them but I didn't care.

"Cass what are you doing? Put the gun down," Elias ordered trying to figure out what I was thinking.

I kept the gun pointed at Elias but glanced over at Billy who still sat with his back to me only now his head was buried in his hands.

"Cassidy! Don't be stupid!" Elias yelled.

I snapped my attention back to him. "Shut up Eli!"

"Where'd you get the gun?" Bodie asked eying me suspiciously.

I laughed. "Bones."

That got Billy's attention. He jumped to his feet and glared at me.

"What did you just say?" He snapped pointing his own gun at me.

"Bones," I growled. "What Bill? Do you not approve of that?"

He lowered his gun and slowly walked over to me then ripped the revolver from my hand.

"Get out," he hissed.

"No!" I yelled back stepping forward our faces barely three inches apart.

"Get out," he repeated.

"You left me," I whimpered as my fingers curling into a tight fist.

"Life just sucks doesn't it," he mocked.

That's when I pulled my fist back and punched him just like I had Joe and then I stormed out of the building not once looking back. Only of course someone came running after me. No I hadn't gotten any luckier over the last week or so.

"Cass! Cassidy!" Elias yelled as he grabbed my arm and whipped me around to face him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You think Billy's not gonna be pissed."

"He'll live," I spat trying to get my arm back but his grip wouldn't loosen no matter how much I struggled. "God dammit Eli let go!"

"Cassidy listen to me."

"NO! You abandoned me why would I listen to you?" I cried and started to beat him with my free hand.

"Hey calm down! I didn't mean for this to happen and you know that."

I paused mid swing and looked up into his eyes. "Elias I hate you. Do you hear me? I... HATE... YOU."

His grip on my arm loosened and I ran off as far away from them as I could get. Well as far as I could get until I reached a bus stop. When I finally got back to the apartment I locked myself in the bathroom, curled up in a ball on the floor and screamed until I could barely breath and my chest burned in protest and that's where I spent the entire night wishing, praying, crying because I still could help but love Billy.


	15. Laughing On The Windowpanes

Of course thank you all so very much for reading and reviewing!

I think I've officially gotten back into the groove of things and my crazy mind has been running constantly for the past three days. Which really isn't a bad thing but sometimes I had trouble keeping up with it. It's just going so fast. Anyway another update woo! This chapter might start to answer some questions but then again maybe not. Poor Cass though, she needs a bit of a break, gee... hehe.

Enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter 15- Laughing On The Windowpanes**

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door and I groaned loudly. My left arm wasn't functioning I had laid on it too long and now it was asleep. I poked at my numb arm but it wouldn't move so I was forced to manually move it. Somehow I managed to calm down just enough to at the very least unlock the door. I sat there slowly forcing my numb fingers to move and wiggled them around. Then I glanced up as the door slowly opened and to my surprise it wasn't Elias or Billy. In fact it wasn't even some one I was really familiar with like Bodie, Baggy or Tommy. It was Spink who leaned down and picked me up off the ground.

"What now?" I spoke shrilly. "He's sending his minions to do his work for him?"

"No, no one sent me," he replied leading me out of the bathroom and over to the couch.

"Then why are you here?" I snapped loosing my patience.

A pleasant smell drifted from the kitchen and threw me off track.

"Who's cooking?" My voice was sore and hoarse and speaking was causing it to become even scratchier.

Spink kneeled down in front of me but didn't answer my question. "Listen Cass, I know your upset and you have every right to be but you can't just run around punching people and buying guns to point at your best friend."

"But they left me and I don't even know you so what's it to you if I do?"

He looked confused but continued anyway, "Because people care about you and yeah they made a mistake-

"They ruined my life."

"But they still care about you."

I considered it for a second. "Maybe Elias does but-

"And Baggy, and Bodie, and Heco, and Tommy, and Missy-

"Okay, okay I get it."

"Still you've gotta start thinking before you do things."

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

"You do. Billy's pissed... for such a scrawny girl you've got one damn good arm."

I shifted my weight nervously suddenly I was feeling very uncomfortable. "Is he really mad?"

"Seemed like it... he wanted to be left alone, get some air, blow off some steam so he drove off some where. I don't know but I do know he is gonna have one nasty bruise."

"He deserved it."

"Yeah well... what now?"

"What do you mean what now?"

"You just put Billy in his place girl, either you gotta keep fighting or Billy's gonna destroy you."

"He's already done a great job of that... I mean I-

Joe then walked in catching me off guard holding a plate of chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs

"Peace offering," he claimed handing me the plate and a fork.

"Uh... thanks Joe," I smiled.

"Elias said that's your favorite," he replied as he cautiously sat down beside me.

I nodded, "Yeah it is."

I took a bite of each and then looked up at him. His jaw was a dark shade of purple with a green tint.

"Oh God Joe sorry I didn't mean to hit you that hard!" I cried as the guilt sunk in.

He winced and touched a hand softly to his cheek. "Don't worry I won't ever piss you off again."

We exchanged silly grins and burst out laughing. I then felt a weight ease it's pressure off my chest. Spink reached over and ripped a piece of pancake from my plate. He popped it in his mouth as he got to his feet.

"Wanna go see a movie?" he asked walking over to the cupboard and a few seconds later bringing back a glass of water for each of us.

"A movie?" I asked in confusion as I took a small sip and smiled up at him. Why would they want to go to a movie?

"Yeah," Joe yelled excitedly nudging my shoulder. "There's this sweet looking zombie one that just came out. Come on it'll be fun."

I nodded and smiled as I finished my surprisingly delicious breakfast.

"That was awesome!" Joe screamed as we stumbled out of the dark theater our eyes not yet adjusted to the bright mid-day sun.

Joe threw an arm around my shoulders and grinned. "Don't you agree?"

I laughed and Spink rolled his eyes. "What was the plot?"

"Who needs a plot when there's a huge blood fest."

"Personally I found it gross," I replied grimacing in disgust at all the gore I had just spent two hours watching.

"Yeah well your a girl."

"Oh right nice comeback," I laughed.

"But you are."

"I'm glad we agree on that."

"Fuck you!"

"Um... ew," I giggled skipping away from his flailing arms as he tried to slap me.

Spink snickered and stretched his arms over his head before pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one up.

"Want one?" he offered.

"Why not?" I shrugged taking one from the pack and digging the Zippo lighter I had stolen from Billy a while back.

I took a drag and sighed slowly blowing the smoke from my mouth.

"So Cass what we gonna do now?" Joe asked plucking the cigarette from my lips and taking a drag.

"You know what sounds amazing right now?"

They both shook their heads.

"Cheesecake," I giggled. "I haven't had cheesecake in so long."

Spink and Joe exchanged looks and then both looked oddly back at me.

"Where do we get cheesecake?" Spink asked looking around at the surrounding buildings.

"They have some at Walmart," I suggested giving them a pleading look.

"Alright," they both agree in unison.

Two hours and an entire cheesecake later we all three sat on the curb outside of the Four Roses smoking, rubbing our full bellies and kicking around the empty cheesecake container.

"Not gonna lie man, that stuff is bomb," Joe laughed.

"Did you just say bomb?" I laughed at him.

"Your a fucking moron," Spink snickered trying to not look like he was having too much fun. Wouldn't want to give anyone the wrong idea.

"Fuck you," Joe snapped but poked my side and laughed as I squirmed.

"Well thanks for being so cool guys I had fun but I should probably get back to work and apologize to Missy," I announced climbing to my feet and brushing the dirt off my pants.

"Yeah alright Cass see you later," Spink replied getting to his feet and placing a hand on my shoulder. "We'll hang out again soon okay."

I smiled as I leaned forward and gave him a friendly hug. He laughed and hugged me back. "Thanks so much Spink. You too Joe."

Joe got up and gave me a big hug before I walked up to the entrance and waved bye to them. They both waved back before turning and walking off down the block.

Missy looked up at me when she heard the door open and gasped in shock.

"Cassidy!" she yelled running over to me and giving me a nearly suffocating hug. "I was so worried about you Cass."

"Oh Missy I'm so sorry I was such a bitch," I hugged her back.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and smiled as she looked me in the eyes. "It's alright, no worries we'll get things worked out but first you have to go serve drinks. I need a break."

I nodded and gave her one last quick hug before sliding behind the counter and sighing contently. Who knew Joe could be so cool? Who knew Missy was so forgiving? And who knew Spink even cared? They weren't just a gang anymore they were my family.


	16. Oh Such Torturous Things

Wow chapter 16 already! Who would have thought that when this was just a tiny idea bouncing around in my head that it would ever get this far so fast and still be chugging on? Choo-choo! Certainly not me but I'm very grateful to everyone who reviews and reads because you guys keep this story going! Give your self a round of applause you deserve it!

Sorry it took so long to update. I've been on vacation for the past few weeks or so which was incredible! Other than that I've basically been zonked out the rest of the time. I sleep way too much but I'm grumpy if I don't get sleep when I want it so it's probably for the best.

Oh and I have another Death Sentence story that I've been playing around with that I'm really starting to enjoy. It's got a totally different plot line from this story and different characters but it's also a romance. Billy being the love interest of course. So if anyones interested in it let me know and I'll post it.

Enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter 16- Oh Such Torturous Things**

I sat on one of the bar stools spinning around in circles patently waiting for Missy and mines shift to end. I'd been working sense I'd left Joe and Spink earlier that day and even though I'd been running around all day I was still wide awake and not looking forward to going back to the apartment. None of the boys had come into the bar that night which was probably a good thing but I still had no idea how pissed off Billy was and I really didn't think I wanted to find out on my own.

"How about we hit the town?" Missy asked as she wiped off the counter.

"Hit the town?" I replied knowing my expression made me look like a complete idiot. God I sounded so dumb always asking stupid questions like that.

She laughed and smiled. "I mean you need to get away from all the testosterone your surrounded by all the time so lets go out and have some fun. Just you and me."

I laughed more at my stupidity than her explanation but either way she seemed pleased. "Yeah sure. That sounds cool."

"Trust me it'll be way cool," she grinned then winked before turning to a antsy customer.

Missy sat beside me in the far back of a city bus. She had pulled her long dirty blond hair into a loose ponytail at the base of her neck and had changed from her work clothes into a pair of tight black jeans, a loose sequined halter top and a pair of open toed black stilettos. I on the other hand was dressed in a simple Cami, a pair of loose jeans and sneakers. Missy was one of those naturally beautiful people that really didn't need much to look absolutely stunning but still she loved to over do it. That night was a prime example of her unneeded effort. Her eyes were meant to look smoky but she looked more like a raccoon than anything else and her thick red lipstick was smeared at the corners.

She had been rambling on for the last half hour but I had been off locked inside my head battling demons I knew were waiting to attack when I wasn't paying attention. I managed to nod when she needed a response or sometimes a short easy verbal "yeah" when necessary.

"Hey Cass," she laughed. "You still with me."

I shook my head and blinked before smiling weakly up at her. "Sorry Missy I was just thinking."

"About Billy?"

"Yeah, obvious isn't it."

"You know Cass even if Billy stops caring, I'm not saying that he will but if it's a worry which I know it is... I just want you to know there is always going to be someone here to protect you."

I nodded. I've heard this all before. "Well yeah, Elias is always going to keep me grounded, right?"

Her face scrunched up in confusion. I would have laughed if it wasn't such a heart-to-heart moment.

"No not Eli, even though Eli's definitely a good guy. He can't guarantee anything but there are a few who have had your back for a while now and you have had no idea."

I stared at her blankly and only blinked at her. I'd heard this already. Spink had told me practically the same thing earlier that day.

"Cass," she grinned. "Haven't you noticed Baggy and Spink are always going out of their way to keep you out of harms way. Who do you think takes Billy's rage when he isn't going after you?"

My jaw dropped in frustration. "But Missy why? Why do they bother? Why should they care? I've never been anything but trouble and seriously I'm nothing special."

Why couldn't anyone get that I didn't understand?

Missy shook her head and the bus jerked to a stop. She grabbed my hand and guided me out the bus door. The streets were crowded with people and bright lights. It made me dizzy and I squeezed Missy's hand not wanting to get lost. She glided elegantly through the sea of people and down a few blocks. I was too mesmerized by the glittering signs and fashionable outfits to really be taking note of my barrings. Suddenly we took a sharp turn and Missy pulled me down a dark alley. The only light a flickering street lamp. Instantly fear struck a nerve and I felt my balance begin to wobble. I staggered backward yanking on Missy's hand as my legs refused to move.

"Cassidy what's wrong?" she asked as she turned on her heel and gave me a worried look.

"I don't like it here."

What was wrong with me? I'd been living with a group of the most vicious people you could meet and yet here I was terrified of a abandoned alley.

"It's alright Cass there's nothing to be scared of," she whispered wrapping an arm around my waist and forcefully guiding me down the alley.

My eyes darted to every shadow and every corner silently capturing and judging my surroundings. That's when footsteps caught my attention and I turned quickly to see who was following us. I gasped and my mouth dropped open in a mixture of shock and panic as I nearly jumped out of my shoes. Baggy chuckled and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Calm down babe, there's nothing to worry about."

I let out a heavy breath as I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged myself close to his body.

"Oh Baggy," I sighed.

He tensed for a moment and then hugged me back wrapping an arm protectively around my shoulders. Tommy snickered behind him and quirked his pierced brow in Missy's direction. Missy shrugged but gave me a sly wink and mouthed "told you."

"Ready for some action," Tommy boasted snaking an arm around Missy's and lighting up a cigarette.

"I've been waiting all day," Missy laughed and pushed Tommy off of her. So much for just a girls night out but I was feeling a bit better knowing the boys were there too.

She squealed happily as Tommy chased her down the alley and they disappeared around a corner.

"So Cass," Baggy sighed giving my shoulders a tight squeeze. "Got any idea how much trouble your in now?"

I shrugged but eased closer to Baggy as he practically pushed me down the alley. "A lot I suppose."

"A lot is sort of an understatement."

I glared up at him and he just grinned down at me like I was just some kind of big joke to him. I probably would have been taken more seriously wearing a clown suit.

"Not my fault Billy's being absurd."

Baggy stopped dead in his tracks and I nearly fell flat on my face.

"Baggy what the fuck?"

"You know what Cass?" he yelled right in my face.

He had to bend down to get to my level because I had saved myself from a face plant by landing on my knees. I knew I looked like a deer in the headlights with his face only inches away from mine but I was paralyzed, I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. What had I done wrong now?

"You really need to learn to show some respect. Billy may be an ass but he's put a lot on the line for you. He's always sacrificing something for you. You should at least be grateful!" Baggy screamed before shoving past me and stomping off around the corner.

Slowly I stumbled to my feet. My knees were scraped up pretty well but I shrugged it off and just ran after Baggy around the corner only to end up running right into the back of Tommy. Tommy laughed as he grabbed my hand and dragged me through a big metal door on the side of a crumbling brick building to our left. We walked down a dark narrow hallway and I could hear heavy music pounding against the walls. Soon flashing lights up ahead came into view and I couldn't help but hold my breath. Then Tommy took a turn and pulled me down another hallway then up a flight of stairs. The music only grew louder the further we got inside the building. Finally Tommy pushed open one last door and we were greeted with a wave of smoke, heavy metal and bright lights.

The next few hours were the best time I'd spent in what seemed like forever. I danced, drank, smoked and made out with numerous guys until I passed out. The only bad part was the fact that I had no clear idea of what really went on between the time I entered through that last door till the time I woke up naked in an unfamiliar bed.


	17. Sinking In Quicksand

Thanks so much for all the reviews! They made me super happy and as always are very much appreciated! All of you are amazing! Also my new Death Sentence story is up! It's called _**Back To The Streets**_ so if you haven't already go check it out and let me know what you think! Chapter two of that story is in the works as we speak.

As for this story this chapter is pretty self explanatory. There are a few new twists and questions but sadly not many answers. Things will start to get answered soon, hopefully. Well it'll at least all make sense in the end which is still a ways away so yeah... anyway...

Enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Seventeen- Sinking In Quicksand**

What else would you do in a situation like that but panic? Oh and how I panicked. I threw on the first pieces of clothing my hands touched that seemed slightly recognizable and ran right out of that place using the fire escape outside the bedroom window to lessen my chances of being caught. I may do stupid things but I had learned at least a little bit about survival in my time spent with the gang.

I climbed down at least eight stories and had to drop myself down into a dumpster instead of risking getting my legs broken from landing on straight cement. The landing still managed to knock the wind out of me and I had to lay low for a while to catch my breath. When I finally climbed out of the dumpster I ran straight out of the alley and out into a crowed main walkway. I walked briskly down a few blocks to at least put a good amount of distance between myself and the uncertain danger of that bed. Then I leaned back against a brick wall and slid down the wall so that I sat with my knees curled up against my chest.

My mind was racing a hundred miles a minute and I couldn't seem to find the breaks. What had I done? Why didn't some one watch out for me? What was I supposed to do now? I quickly looked around at my surroundings and when I noticed the pay phone across the street I jumped to my feet and ran straight over to it. I picked up the receiver and held it too my ear forgetting that it was in fact a "pay" phone.

"Crap," I muttered to myself shoving a hand into a pocket and digging around for any possible loose change.

I glanced up at the phone. _75 cents to make a call_.

"Shit," I groaned shoving my hand into a different pocket.

For once in my life God seemed to be on my side and I found two quarters and a dime in my back pocket. Sixty cents still wasn't enough though and I slammed the receiver back onto its cradle and started searching the ground for any fallen change. I found a few pennies supposedly that's supposed to be lucky to find a penny on the ground but right now pennies weren't going to get me anywhere. Within minutes I was truly feeling defeated and fell back against the side of a building trying to find some slightly rational thoughts behind my frustration.

I could have started to beg people for money but that seemed some how very low. There was a time when I always carried spare change on me. Not only spare change but spare bills. I made sure I had at least fifteen extra bucks on me at all times in case something happened and I needed to take a cab home but here I was with only sixty cents, no idea where I was and no idea of how much trouble I had gotten into the night before. I still had a long list of things I had to cover and check off before I would feel clean again. Who knew what the consequences of that night would be. Right now though I needed to focus on finding a way back home.

I was on the verge of tears when the shine of something silver on the curb caught my eye. Instantly I pounced on it. It was a quarter! I was so happy I almost started jumping up and down with joy but then I remember my situation and ran right back over to the pay phone. I grabbed the receiver and held it tight in my fist as I shoved my quarters into the slot then quickly punched in the first phone number I could think off.

"What?" answered an all too familiar gruff voice.

I held my breath before quickly speaking. "I fucked up big time Billy but please just-

"Yeah your right you fucked up! You really fucked up," he interrupted viciously.

"Please Billy just help me. Just this last time," I pleaded desperately.

I heard him sigh heavily. "Where the fuck are you?"

I looked around and read the street sign. "B street and 5th."

"Stay there," he ordered before hanging up on me.

I waited against the wall by the pay phone and made a mental list of things I knew I had to do. The first was to survive Billy. I hadn't faced him sense I hit him and I'm pretty sure that wasn't going to end in my favor. Two I needed to find a restroom and then some food. My stomach was in knots not only from my nerves but I hadn't gone to the restroom in hours and my stomach was aching for food I hadn't had in a longer amount of time. Thing three was that I needed to go to the free clinic and get checked out. I'd probably be there all day long waiting to be seen but I needed to be sure I hadn't gotten something and I didn't have money for a regular doctor. The fourth thing was that I needed a shower. God I had to smell bad and I felt even worse. I felt dirty in every way.

A shadow cast over me ripping me from my thoughts and I looked up in surprise at the form blocking out the sun.

"Are you stuck too?" asked a hoarse voice.

A young boy stood before me with his hands behind his back and a small grin upon his lips.

"Uh... excuse me?" I replied my eyes widening in confusion.

He snickered and sat down cross legged beside me and held out his hand. "I'm Scooter."

I reached out and shook his hand weakly smiling in return. "Cass."

The boy reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette.

"Want one?" he offered as he searched for a lighter.

I shook my head and handed him the lighter I had been twirling around between my fingers.

"Thanks," he muttered as he lit up and tossed the lighter back at me.

I stared at him. He couldn't have been that old dressed in a ripped white t-shirt and dirty jeans. His messy brown hair stood up naturally in every direction and he had a tribal tattoo wrapped around his forearm.

"How old are you?" I asked as his Grey eyes flickered over to meet mine.

He grinned. "Thirteen," he answered proudly.

He had a blood red bandanna wrapped around his right thigh.

"Your just a kid."

He frowned at that and glared at me.

"Your just a girl."

"I don't idolize Billy."

He chuckled. "Nah your just turning into him."

I glared back at him and sighed. "Do you know where we are?"

"Yeah sure we're on B street turf."

"B street?"

"Rivals you know."

I shook my head but he just shrugged and looked back at the people walking and cars passing us by.

"Why are you here then?" I asked quietly suddenly afraid someone might over hear.

"Keeping an eye on things."

"Like a spy?"

He got a serious face. "Yeah just like a spy."

We sat for a while just staring off into space and scanning our surroundings until I spoke up again.

"How'd you get the name Scooter?"

He laughed a little. "I used to ride a scooter everywhere until my brother ran it over with a car one night when he was drunk."

"That sucks."

He shrugged. "Tommy didn't care."

"Your brother's Tommy?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah but he's never around you know. No big deal or nothing."

"Oh... how'd you get the tattoo?"

"I'm part of the crew."

"The crew?"

"Joe got pissed at Billy a while back and started his own branch of the gang."

"But your so young."

"I'm the youngest but I'm now the leader since Joe's hanging with the guys more."

"Why would you want to be in a gang?"

"What else am I going to do," he shot back at me and then flicked his cigarette butt into the street. Then he asked, "how'd you get yours?"

I thought about it for a second.

"Honestly I don't really know."

"You fucked him right?" he replied seriously already knowing the answer was yes.

"Hey! Watch your mouth!" I snapped. Kid's shouldn't talk like that no matter what they were a part of.

"What are you my mother?"

"Probably could be."

"My mom left a long time ago," he spoke emotionlessly.

"Sorry."

"Nah she was a whore anyway."

I shook my head not knowing how to respond then I heard a familiar rumble in the distance.

"Great..." I groaned.

Scooter laughed and nodded. "You in trouble too?"

"You could say that."

"Life sucks like that."

The black mustang squealed to a stop in front of us and Elias immediately jumped out the passenger door followed by Tommy.

"Cassidy Nichole what the fuck is your problem?" screamed Elias as he yanked me to my feet.

"I really have to pee," I replied ignoring his angry glares.

"Just get in the fucking car," He yelled shaking his head and pointing toward the car where Scooter was already climbing into the back following Tommy.

Not only did I have to deal with Billy now I had to deal with Elias too. What a great topper to the cake.


	18. Pretty Odd

Thank you so, so much for all the reviews! You have no idea how happy they made me! And of course thank you to everyone else for reading!

Sorry I've been M. I. A. for a while I've been pretty sick and super overwhelmed the last month or so with school and family stuff but no worries I'm back for the time being.

As always please enjoy!

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Eighteen- Pretty Odd**

The car ride back to the apartment building was very tense and other than Tommy and Scooter arguing it was far beyond uncomfortably silent. Billy was gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were as white as the bones underneath the skin and his gaze on the road smoldering so intensely I'm pretty positive I'd burst into a pile ash with just one glance. So I kept as much distance between Billy and I as possible, I was squeezed so tight against the side of the car trying desperately to disappear but I'd rather endure Elias heated glares from the passenger side mirror than being any closer to Billy's wrath. Elias sure he was mad but he wouldn't hurt me, Billy though who knew these days. Especially sense the side of his face where I had punched him was awful shades of black, blue and violet. There was even a disgusting tinge of green and yellow in some places.

After a few blocks I began to recognize certain buildings and streets but each time I saw something familiar an instant twinge of dread surged through my body. Maybe I'd be better off beating my way past Elias and just making a run for it at a stop light? That could have been a good plan except for the fact that Billy didn't stop for signs or lights. Crap, either way I was screwed, might as well take it like a man.

When we finally squealed to a stop outside of the apartment building I was practically thrown face first into the back of the passenger's side seat by the sudden force of Billy's foot on the brake. I knew I was in for a serious treat by the way Billy threw open the door and dragged Tommy and Scooter out of the back despite their screams of protest. Elias made no move to exit the vehicle as I awaited my doom watching anxiously as Billy kicked Tommy and Scooter out of his premises. Still I tried my best to make a quick escape but I didn't get a chance to get out with the tiny bit of dignity I had left because as soon as Tommy and Scooter were out of sight Billy tossed me out of th car by my hair.

"Shit Billy that hurt! Couldn't you at least be a gentleman once in your life," I shrieked in anger.

He was about to burst I swear I could see the clock ticking down 3... 2...

"Cassidy Fucking Miller! What the fuck is your problem! Your always bitching about getting no respect but where's your respect for us!"

It wasn't Billy who burst it was Elias who had his beet red face up against my nose, jaw clenched so tightly you could probably break a rock between his teeth.

"Uh..." I didn't know how to respond especially when I glanced up at Billy and saw the look of utter surprise on his face.

"I... made a mistake," I muttered quickly and then winced in case he dealt a blow.

"You made a mistake," he spat with a bitter chuckle. "One more and your on your own. I won't save your ass next time got it." But before I could reply he was storming off toward the red mustang on the other side of the parking lot which once he reached he slammed himself in the drivers seat and squealed off.

I just sat there on the ground in complete disbelief having absolutely no idea what to do next. That's when I heard Billy crack up, seriously he was practically on the ground clutching his stomach as he laughed uncontrollably. I just sat there and stared at him like he was rabid. Once he gained control over himself he plopped down next to me.

"Are you mad?" I asked knowing I was better off keeping my mouth shut but when had that ever stopped me before.

"You should have seen your face. Ha that was the funniest thing I've ever seen," he snickered and oddly enough you could sense the hint of joy in his voice.

"Well... great," I rolled my eyes suddenly at a loss for words.

Who knew what Billy'd do next, at this rate he'd probably totally lose it and beat the shit out of me. We were silent for a while and I just stared down at my red boots. Billy leaned his head back and looked up into the endless blue of the sky.

"I was worried," he spoke after a moment.

"Excuse me?" I asked in confusion. He honestly had to have gone insane.

"I was worried about you," he repeated and rephrased closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. "I've never been worried about anyone before."

"Why me?" I was nothing special what had I ever done to make him care, we'd been over this so many times before.

"I don't know... your just... different."

"I'm trouble. I've never been anything but a pain in your ass."

"It's a good pain," he laughed tilting his head to the side and looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

"It just doesn't make sense to me, none of this does."

"It's cause no one ever told you the truth."

"And no one ever will."

"I wasn't lying before."

"About what?" I questioned not understanding fully what he was getting at.

"Protecting you, you being Elias's pawn, his means of trade."

"God this feels like history class."

"You know you can leave any time you want. I can't stop you but if you do I'm not gonna be there when there's a barrel in your face that actually is gonna go off." He said that now but he proved many times before that he'd come after me, he always did for some foreign reason.

"Shouldn't you be mad."

"You'll make it up to me... you always do."

"Wow... thanks."

He just smirked at me then grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.

Over the next week things went back to what could only be defined as normal. I spent most of my days hanging out with Joe and Spink then I'd work till two in the morning. When I eventually got home Billy would be waiting for me, that night was no exception and when I walked through the front door I was greeted with the familiar smell of cigarette smoke, hard liquor and burnt egg rolls. I slid my jacket off my shoulders and tossed it onto the back of the nearest chair. Billy was flipping through mindlessly TV channels and barely even looked up from the screen upon my entering. He puffed lazily on a cigarette and had a beer bottle in hand, his shirt had been discarded on the floor.

"I'm assuming Chinese was for dinner... again," I laughed lightly as I yanked off my boots.

"It's easy," he grunted obviously in a bad mood.

"Just the way you like them," I rolled my eyes dramatically.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he questioned.

"Just teasing babe," I shrugged sitting down beside him and snuggling up against his shoulder. Mechanically he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer.

"Elias stopped by earlier," he announced slowly rubbing circles on my side.

"No kidding," I quirked my brow curiously.

"He asked for a loan."

"What... why?" Why the hell would Elias need a loan?

"An old debt never paid."

"Like mine?" I questioned in confusion.

"No," he replied bluntly.

"Then what?" I urged him to continue.

"He's got problems."

"Like you?" I mumbled in frustration from his lack of explanation.

"What are you talking about?" he growled as his hand balling into a fist.

"... coke," I muttered sheepishly.

"Seriously Cass it's not like that!"

"It is like that!"

"How'd you find out?"

"Joe might have let it slip."

His face twisted into a look of disgust and anger.

"But don't get made at him Bill he was just trying to help out," I pleaded knowing I had crossed the line.

"The only way he can help is to fucking keep his mouth shut."

"Please don't yell at him. It's my fault I made him tell me."

Billy turned and glared at me with his hard eyes then he took me by surprise and placed a light peck on my nose.

"Oh Billy," I sighed delightfully as I ran my fingers lightly over the fading bruise on his jaw.

He smirked then leaned forward and licked my bottom lip. Slowly I ran my hands over his bare chest and snaked them around his neck. He pulled me onto his lap and then pressed his lips forcefully to mine. That night Billy made up for everything that had happened in the last few months. I'd never imagined someone could make me feel so extraordinary especially someone like him but our problems were still far from over.


	19. V for Venom

A really long over due chapter, sorry about the wait.

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Nineteen- V for Venom**

With an extra large blue raspberry Slurpee in my left hand and a revolver in my right I felt safe just lounging out on the hood of the old black mustang in front of the office. Billy hated me hanging out around the office because it made him anxious. Seriously though how much more trouble could I possibly get myself into and anyway I was probably safer out in the open than I was staying home. Either way I was bored to death so why wouldn't I be gazing up at the clear night sky as I contemplated my life. That's what I used to do. Why wouldn't it work now?

But of course the night had other plans for me. I watched as Billy strolled over puffing angrily on a cigarette. Like that was any kind of change but hey I loved that Billy's actions were always so predictable. I needed a constant in my life even if that constant happened to be Darley.

"My tongue blue?" I asked as he hopped up next to me on the hood and I stuck out my tongue.

"How old are you?" He always insisted on retorting back to something that annoyed me.

"Four and counting, that must make you what? Eighty."

He snorted. "Aren't you just a funny little monkey."

"What can I say? I'm just that ridiculously charming."

"The only person who finds you charming is Joe and I wouldn't consider that a complement."

"God your such a jerk!"

He just shrugged and tossed his cigarette butt to the ground. He proceeded to follow my gaze towards the sky and then the stars. "What do you find so fascinating up there?"

"Did you ever see The Lion King?"

In reply he turned and gave me a disbelieving look. I sucked in deeply through my straw and grunted.

"I'm taking that as a no."

He shook his head and looked back towards the sky.

"Well the king was telling his son how the stars are like the spirits of their ancestors; the kings father, his father before him so on. He said that they were watching down on them. I mean I don't believe that by any means but maybe there is someone watching over us." I turned and looked him straight in the eye.

"You mean like God," He replied not taking his eyes off the stars.

"I guess if that's what you believe in but I don't know I was thinking more along the lines of my grandfather."

"Why him?"

"He just always meant a lot to me. He took care of me and accepted me for who I was when no one else did."

Billy turned and gazed at me as he continued to push the subject further, "What happened to him?"

"He died right before I moved here. It was a pivotal point in my life. I don't think I would have ever come here if he hadn't passed away."

"How did he die?"

"A couple of gang bangers shot him up at the gas station while he was getting a newspaper."

He grunted in frustration before speaking. "It must have been his time then," he informed me before shaking his head and rolling off the hood. Quietly I followed his lead and got in the passengers side of the mustang.

The white blurred lines on road were nearly impossible to see as we raced down the highway yet still I insisted on trying to count them in my head. Anything was better than thinking about the coincidence of my grandfathers death and meeting Billy. It was almost like a sign or like a fore shadow of what life had in store for me next. How was I supposed to know that I would stumble into the world of the people that took my grandfathers life. How was I supposed to know that I'd become one of them.

"Cass?" Billy asked in a a soft voice that caught me completely off guard.

"Yeah," I responded in a meek voice.

"You hungry?"

"Oh," I exhaled in disappointment. "Yeah sure."

He nodded and reached into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Quickly he pulled a cigarette out of the pack and lit it before concentrating back on the road.

"You made the right decision coming here," He spoke again after several minutes of silence.

"Why do you say that?" I asked in utter surprise.

"If you hadn't come here Cass," he paused to take a drag on his cigarette. Deeply inhaling the smoke and blowing it out before continuing. "I'd never know what it was like to love someone."

I was speechless. Had Billy Darley just admitted that he was in fact in love with me.

"Love someone?" I asked breathlessly as Billy screeched into a parking spot outside of a old fashioned 24 hour burger joint. Billy cut off the engine and threw open the door, exiting and slamming the door shut before I could push the conversation any further. Some things would never change.

Billy and I sat across from each other at a greasy booth and silently stared at one another. We hadn't even bothered to look at the menu we'd both spent enough time here after late nights of work and dealing to know what we wanted. A waitress soon cautiously walked up to our table. "What can I get you two?" she asked nervously.

"A half pound cheese burger with fries and a Corona and a grilled cheese and a strawberry shake for the little lady," Billy ordered then shooed the waitress away who left with a huff.

"Going all out tonight with a Corona huh?" I asked with a smirk.

He chuckled a bit before replying, "There's whiskey at home."

"Of course," I sighed heavily looking down at the salt covered table. The person who sat here before us obviously didn't know how to aim a salt shaker.

Our meal didn't take long to cook and we were soon too busy eating to really involve ourselves in any type of conversation. After paying the bill and leaving a fairly decent tip we made our way back to the car in an almost peaceful silence. Only before Billy started the engine he turned to me and looked at me with a crooked grin.

"What?" I asked in confusion not really sure what I should be expecting him to say.

"Want to try something new tonight?" he smirked with honest to God curiosity glinting in his eyes.

"Define "new"."

He laughed for a moment before offering any answer. "That's where you'll just have to trust me and believe me that it'll definitely be a good time."

An hour later I was feeling euphoric while feeling like it was completely normal to be giving Billy a lap dance in the back of Four Roses by the pool tables after two good snorts of Cocaine and far too many shots. My head spun, my limbs all shook but for some reason I felt good. Not just good but great. Everything after leaving the burger joint was a blur. I was nauseous so I took another shot and crashed down into Billy's lap.

"This is fantastic," I giggled nuzzling up against his shoulder. Billy leaned forward and softly pressed his lips to my temple. Music blared from the speakers above while various people danced around the bar. This was the liveliest I had ever seen the Four Roses and it made me want to be a part of it, thrive with these people in a marvelous flow to the beat. Spink stumbled over toward Billy and I spilling his beer down the front of his shirt, Tommy and Missy were in the middle of the room grinding up against one another while Baggy and Heco played pool and Daisy Heco's girlfriend sat on a chair in the corner of the room shooting some sort of chemical up her arm.

"Wanna dance?" Spink asked slurring his words and smiling sloppily. I glanced up at Billy who shrugged helping me back up to my feet. "Definitely," I agreed while taking Spink's out stretched hand. But before I could get to far Billy grabbed my arm and pulled me back only to press his lips firmly against my own. Then smiling he gave me a nudge toward the newly claimed dance floor. Spink wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck pressing out bodies closer together. We swayed like that for a couple songs before he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "You look really hot right now."

I suppose I couldn't have looked too awful in my tight black tube dress feeling as though I was on top of the world. At the very least I felt amazing. "I know," I breathed in his ear it following with a giggle. I then pushed away from him and stumbled back over to Billy knowing fully well Spink was staring at me as settled back in Billy's arms.

"Why don't you dance with me?" I practically moaned in his ear.

"I don't dance."

"Well you should," I pouted.

"How about I take you home and we do something much more enjoyable."

I nodded and smiled leaning forward and placing a hard kiss on his lips. He licked my lips before pulling away and getting to his feet. Then in one swift movement picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Billy," I yelled. "Your not a caveman."

Everyone around us hollered and whistled causing me to roll my eyes, "Your all a bunch of barbarians."

Billy carried me out to the car and sat me down in the passenger seat. When he got settled in the drivers seat and had put the key in the ignition I grabbed his hand stopping him from starting the engine. He looked at me with a raised brow as I crawled over into his lap and straddled him. He instantly reached up and pulled my face forward our lips crashing with an almost painful force, his lips already hungrily working mine in eager lust. One of his hands snaked up the bottom hem of my dress and I gasped loudly as he pushed two of his rough fingers inside me. With a moan his mouth left my lips and he nipped and licked at my neck. I slid my hands up his shirt and dug my nails into his chest and abdomen and I dragged my hands back down to the hem of his pants. I unbuttoned his jeans as he pulled his hand out from under my dress then pushing down his boxers I lowered myself down onto him and let out a short scream of pleasure as he pushed himself hard and deep inside me. He thrust faster and deeper in as I pushed back down digging my nails into his shoulders until we both climaxed.

By the time we started to go back to the apartment I was exhausted but Billy didn't go to the apartment. Instead he cut the engine in front of the office. I groaned, "What are we doing here?"

"I want to show you something," he replied with an odd shine in his eyes and a slight curl upward at the corners of his lips. He then pushed open the car door and got out. I sighed and slowly turned to open my own door but when I finally did I found it already open and Billy offering me his hand. Gratefully I accepted it and let him pull me to my feet. He lead me up the front stone stairs the entire time holding my hand. I didn't really know what had gotten into him. Maybe it was the chemical concoction he had running through his bloodstream or he was just for some reason in a good mood which was highly unlikely. Either way though I loved every ounce of it, so I didn't complain. Billy led me through the maze of hallways up to the chapel where he sat me down on the first pew then sat down beside me and began to pray. It was an odd sight Billy praying but at the same time I couldn't help but feel the need to join him.

A few minutes later he tilted his head and looked at me his forehead resting on his intertwined hands.

"I had no idea you were so religious," I spoke almost inaudibly my voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm not. I don't go to church or anything this is the only amount of faith I am capable of holding."

"This just seems so... sacred to you. Why did you bring me here?"

He shrugged, "I guess I want you to understand how special you are. How much you really mean to me."

I just stared at him for a moment trying to comprehend what he was saying.

"I don't care," he continued. "That you slept with some douche bag from B-Street. I don't care how much you hate me for not knowing how to protect you. All I do care about is that your here with me right now and when your in my arms I feel like I've actually done something good by doing my best to keep you safe."

Tears filled my eyes and I couldn't stop them as they started to fall down my cheeks. In all my life I'd had three real relationships each eventually crumbling and collapsing yet this was the one and only man that ever made me feel like I was truly being loved. That he wasn't just another asshole staying with me cause they couldn't find a better fuck. I felt like breaking down, falling apart under his watchful gaze and confessing my undeniable love for him, but I couldn't. For some reason I couldn't form the words. For some reason I felt a doubt in my gut screaming for me to get out while I still could. I couldn't do that either for it was far to late to turn back now.

"No matter what," I finally mustered up and out. "I will always be here. Even at your worst I'll stay by your side.

"And at my best," he asked with a soft chuckle.

"I'll love you until you suffocate," I replied smiling.

Somehow in this chapel in the same building where all the drugs they sold were manufactured I felt content, happy, completely and utterly wonderful.


	20. R&R

**Gunslinger**

**Chapter Twenty- R&R**

Wallis glared at me. "You became a junkie just like them, didn't you?" She asked suddenly interrupting again.

I sighed heavily before replying sharply. "Sure, Is there anything else you want to get off your chest so I can continue?"

She gave me a sympathetic look and I nearly punched her in the face. "I thought I knew Darley, just another ruthless gang leader and drug dealing junkie but then you get dragged in here and talk about him like he's a saint. Now I honestly don't know what I think of him."

"Thought," I corrected. "Billy, he was no saint, no where near a saint but he wasn't pure evil. He wasn't always a monster."

She paused and stared at me before speaking again. "He really did love you Cassidy Miller."

I shot her a glare. "What makes you say that?"

"Why do you deny it?" She shot back.

I sighed again. "It's easier just to believe he didn't."

My head throbbed, I felt weak, my muscles barely responding to my brain screaming for them to move. Once they finally did begin to move I felt nauseas and barely made it to the closest trash before vomiting up the contents of my stomach. It burned my throat on the way up and the smell made me even more nauseas. I just laid there on the floor bawling my eyes out until the pain subsided enough for me to climb to my feet and stumble back over to the bed. The world was spinning in a whirlwind, my heart thumping heavily against my chest. Slowly I rolled over and grabbed the bedside phone from it's cradle. Every inch of my body trembling I leaned over as close as I could and punched in a number I somehow managed to remember from the night before.

"Yeah?" I was greeted by a very tired sounding voice.

"Heco?" I asked quietly.

"Cass?" he responded in a worried tone. "What's wrong?"

"It hurts so much. Please make it go away."

The week following was a blur. I remembered events in fragments. Flashes of Heco tying a rubber band around my arm and sticking a needle in my vein taking the pain away. The next of Billy coming back furious, constantly in a fit of rage and taking it out on me by fucking me so hard it left bruises and making me scream so loud everyone in the building heard. Then of Elias holding my hair back as I puked, trying desperately to get me to eat a few saltine crackers and a bowl of soup but me always refusing and the endless glasses of water he made sure where always by my bedside. Then at the end of the week around 4 am I woke up to my heart racing as I gasped for air fully alert and aware of my surroundings. I was naked on the living room floor. Billy passed out snoring on the couch completely naked as well. The coffee table was covered in razorblades, cigarette butts and syringes. Multiple used condoms lay on the floor across from me along with empty whiskey bottles.

"Unclean," I muttered getting to my feet and heading toward the kitchen piled high with empty take out cartons, pizza boxes and empty beer cases and cans. After picking up every single piece of trash around the apartment I took a shower and put on the closest thing I could find to clean clothes. Then I piled all the remaining clothes into a basket, washed all the dishes, grabbed a few quarters from the bedside table and went to the apartment building washer and dryer where I started a load of laundry. After finishing the laundry, taking out the trash bags, cleaning the bathroom and making the bed I made my way to the bus stop which I got on and went to the grocery store. When I returned Billy was gone from the couch and the shower was running. I stocked the fridge and cupboards the sat down on the couch with a Chardonnay. I was reading the newspaper a good third of the way done on the wine when Billy entered the room, it was ten o'clock.

"Wow really went nuts didn't you?" he laughed plopping down beside me and taking the bottle from my hand so he could take a good long drink for himself.

"Unclean," I muttered staring down at the track marks on my arms.

Billy sighed then leaned over and kissed my forehead before handing me back the bottle and getting to his feet.

"I'll be home for dinner," He informed me and then he was gone.

I put the Chardonnay in the fridge and went to the bedroom to make a phone call. Bodie answered on the third ring. "Cass?"

"Can I borrow the car?"

"What do you need it for?"

"To run and errand."

"What kind?"

"Please Bodie this is important and I need to be home before dinner or Billy will know."

Eventually Bodie caved and brought the car over for me to borrow. "Have it back before 3 or I'll get my ass killed," He ordered before calling Spink to pick him up with the van.

I shoved the keys into one of my front pockets and went back into the bedroom where I got down on my knees and pulled a shoe box out from under the bed. Inside was a copy of my favorite book Catch-22, my two revolvers, ammo and a couple of old photos. I picked up my copy of Catch-22 and flipped through it a couple times and pulled out the 20 dollar bills stashed in between the pages. Throughout the entire book a good five thousand dollars was stored. I stashed a couple hundred in my back pocket and loaded a revolver which I tucked in the waist line of my pants and got back up to my feet.

My first stop was Dairy Queen. Finally conscious enough to process what I was eating I needed something to comfort me. I ordered a banana split and ate it on the roof of the parked red mustang savoring each bite like it would be my last.

The next stop was half way across town so I had a good twenty minutes of driving to do but the car ride turned out to be more soothing than stressful and I found it easy to get lost in the classic rock songs the radio station was playing. The sound of the engine made me feel content with it's constant rumble. It was perfect but of course it was considering that it was the twin car of Billy's own beautiful mustang. If Billy knew I was driving it halfway across town he'd probably kill me but I needed to go somewhere I wouldn't be recognized, somewhere I wouldn't get in trouble or risk the chance of Billy finding out.

When I got to my destination I parked in the student parking and killed the engine. The building was an old dorm that had seen better days but compared to our apartment building it was nice. I probably should have dressed less like a thug and more like a college student but I wasn't really thinking when I threw on one of Billy's shirts and an pair of jeans with the red banana still pinned to the thigh. Sighing I got out of the car and walked towards the entrance. I told one of the girls I had forgotten my key in my dorm room and that my roommate would only be there for a couple more minutes to let me in so the girl let me in the front and I quickly made my way up five flights of stairs. On the fifth floor I took the right hallway to last door and tentatively knocked. A small blond girl answered the door and nearly fainted when she saw me. "Cassidy Millar is that really you?"

I nodded as she wrapped her thin arms around me and gave me a hug. "It's so good to see you. I thought you had died or something."

"Might as well have," I muttered to which she gave me a curious look but quickly shrugged it off. She then stepped out of the doorway and let me enter the room. She shut the door and then turned to me. "So let me guess you and Eli ran away to the Bahamas and eloped right."

I laughed and shook my head as I took a seat on the futon. "No Sara, Eli and I are still just friends."

She came and sat down beside me and gave me a good once over. "Fuck your running with the dealers. Which gang?" See the thing about Sara was she grew up in this town on the wrong side of tracks. She knew more about the drug dealers and the gangs than anyone else on this campus probably more than anyone else in this part of town. That's why Eli and her got along so well, I had always just been the clueless one, until now.

"Darley's," I replied.

She laughed. "Just like Elias. God I haven't seen that boy in months, shit you either. You guys forget how to use a phone or something?"

I sighed. "It's been hectic. Sara I came for a reason and I really don't have much time."

She nodded. "Whatcha need sister?"

"Detox meds and quick."

She nodded again making a mental note. "Come back tomorrow and I'll have them for you, no prob."

"Thanks," I said giving her a hug and then getting to my feet.

"Stop by again and do me a favor slap Eli when you see him."

I opened the door as I nodded. "Of course." Then I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me.

When I got back to the apartment Bodie was already there waiting for me. "How bad are the damages?" He teased.

"You my dear," I responded placing a finger under Bodie's jaw and stroking down to his chin. "Worry way too much."

He grabbed my wrist and twisted it causing me to shriek in pain. "Careful there Cass, don't want to push your luck." He then got in the car and drove away leaving me there staring dumbfound after him. What the fuck was wrong with me?

I practically sprinted up to our apartment and locked myself inside. Groaning heavily I leaned back against the door and slid down it until I was sitting in the fetal position. That's when I heard a soft meow. Glancing to my right I discovered a small black kitten peering at me from behind the kitchen wall. Tapping my fingers on the ground it slowly made its way over to me where it rubbed up against my leg and purred. That's when I noticed patches of fur missing from all angles of its body obviously having been attacked by something not to long ago. I picked up the kitten and set it in my lap. "Poor baby." It curled up in my arms and purred a bit more loudly.

"You like it?" came Joe's voice from down the hall. I looked up to see him walking towards me a goofy grin on his lips. He bent down in front of me and gave the kitten a pet. "I found him in the dumpster this morning and decided he could live with us." I nodded.

Joe then continued. "I was thinking we could call him something sweet like Rex or Killer."

"No," I spoke. "We will call him Dean."

Joe thought about it for a second before responding. "Hmmm Dean. It fits."

An hour later I was working on dinner while Joe had just come back from getting kitty supplies and Scooter had tagged along.

"Hey Cass! Still alive I see," He greeted.

"Yeah," I laughed. "For the moment."

Joe and Scooter entertained the kitten while I finished baking chicken casserole and mixing together a pasta salad. By the time Billy walked in through the door around six we had the table set, glasses of wine poured for Billy and I and food on the table. I even manged to changed into a skirt and fairly nice tank top.

"What is this?" He asked in confusion.

"Joe and I thought we needed a good dinner. A nice meal for once. Is that not okay?"

"No," he sighed. "It's fine." He smiled weakly down at me and kissed my forehead. Something was off. Something was horribly wrong but I pushed those feelings away and enjoyed the almost family like meal.

Billy even seemed to like Dean which for me came as quite a surprise. Especially when Dean curled up on Billy's chest while he was resting on the couch before a long night of work for the both of us.


End file.
